Really Bad Words

Iz: "...and so yesterday we were all secretly saying Really Bad Words when the substitute wasn't listening."

Me, with Interested Face: "Really?"

Iz: "Yeah. We were saying the worst words of all, the S word and the F word!"

Me, trying not to crack up: "Wow. What are the S word and the F word?"

Iz: "I don't want to say them. They're too bad."

Me: "Can you spell them? What is the S word?"

Iz, looking furtively around the ice cream shop: "S-T-U-P-I-D."

Me, truly trying to keep a straight face: "That is a powerful word. What is the F word?"

Iz: "F-A-T."

Me, with barely maintained poker face: "Those are definitely words that could hurt someone's feelings."

Iz: "Yeah, I know."

Gotta love first graders.