tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5563550.post4652388302878958125..comments2024-02-02T03:32:36.204-07:00Comments on SQUIDALICIOUS: Analysis of an Autism Parenting FailUnknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger15125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5563550.post-36955952643818525212014-11-12T21:03:43.333-08:002014-11-12T21:03:43.333-08:00I Just want to say Thank you for sharing your stor...I Just want to say Thank you for sharing your story, and for making me feel less crazy. Sometimes I wonder if other mothers are experiencing the same things. Your story echo's some of my/our days.<br />We're learning from each other everyday.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04015432299762122878noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5563550.post-34606815751593520032014-11-11T07:15:25.422-08:002014-11-11T07:15:25.422-08:00I have to register my concern at the tone as well....I have to register my concern at the tone as well. In our attempt to understand that our children's meltdowns are not their fault and to help set them up for success, it can be easy to place blame on ourselves instead. It sounds to me like you made reasonable decisions as to why you thought Leo would handle this, and the fact that he couldn't is no ones fault. If you didn't ask him to stretch sometimes you would never find out if he had grown. If you ask him to stretch you will sometimes make mistakes.spryngtreehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12020704572037565814noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5563550.post-32709920370752174322014-11-11T06:29:14.498-08:002014-11-11T06:29:14.498-08:00I know it feels like it, but this is NOT a fail. I...I know it feels like it, but this is NOT a fail. I have 3 autistic daughters and am autistic myself. Sometimes, I need to do things that put my girls or me in situations we'd rather not be in. And sometimes, they surprise me. Sometimes, when I am certain hell will break loose because the night was a disaster, the morning was full of meltdowns , and everything is off....we've gone to their special needs gymnastic class and they magically are able to enjoy themselves. It happens. And if I don't try and instead choose to stay home, I could be holding them back from a great experience. You went. You tried. It didn't work out. I've been there. But you are awesome for trying. You handled the situation. I'm sorry it didn't work out. I've been there. Many times.Samanthahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10571614155334276572noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5563550.post-14791229370532030702013-01-28T06:55:58.737-08:002013-01-28T06:55:58.737-08:00Have you looked into using Melatonin before bed ti...Have you looked into using Melatonin before bed time? It's natural, can be found in health food stores. Several families in our Autism Support Group do use it. It has helped my son sleep better. There are plenty of studies to look up on google,if you'd like.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5563550.post-85827957390694953512013-01-13T15:51:42.933-08:002013-01-13T15:51:42.933-08:00Nope -- Sorry, Shannon, you didn't fail. As s...Nope -- Sorry, Shannon, you didn't fail. As soon as you figured out there was a problem, you acted to fix it. You didn't make the problem bigger by yelling at someone who (though socially clumsy) was probably trying to help. You didn't give up and let chaos reign. You didn't take your frustrations out on your child. You did what you needed to do to take care of your child, even though you were exhausted and upset. The only failing I can see is you berating yourself for being less than perfect, but I can't fault you for it because I think it comes with motherhood. You know -- vericose veins, check; sleep deprivation, check; guilt complex, double check. :)Cassie Zupkehttp://www.cassiezupke.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5563550.post-87506507868129106242012-10-09T12:07:06.581-07:002012-10-09T12:07:06.581-07:00(zb), thanks. I'm a believer in the village. A...(zb), thanks. I'm a believer in the village. And I'm good in general, really -- but I don't like to talk about my negative feelings IRL and so use this space to process them. Because of that they might appear to have more weight than they actually do day-to-day. Shannon Des Roches Rosahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18057806553670980068noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5563550.post-22608493133618072012012-10-09T11:49:18.210-07:002012-10-09T11:49:18.210-07:00PS: I'm a stranger on the internet, but the te...PS: I'm a stranger on the internet, but the tenor of this post (combined with your previous post about depression), "He failed because I failed" worried me just a little bit. <br /><br />I'm not in a position to offer to help (i.e. the stranger thing, and I live in a different city). But, I know you have support, so it's not saying the impossible to remind you to take care of yourself (and, to your friends -- take care of Squid). <br /><br />(zb)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5563550.post-55919036536757358942012-10-09T11:44:42.461-07:002012-10-09T11:44:42.461-07:00"You are human and Leo's day got turned a..."You are human and Leo's day got turned around really fast. THAT was good decision making."<br /><br />Yes. <br /><br />And, I'm personally relieved to see that you are being so generous about the other parent's mistake. I could be that person, who tries to use the parenting that works with my kids inappropriately with another kid. I've trained myself to be more cautious as I've realized how different individual children are, but it's sometimes hard to find the line between trying to help and making things worse. Since I believe in the village, I don't want to take the way out of just ignoring the situation (though letting the parent handle it if they're there is a good first step). <br />zbAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5563550.post-89722457851032529532012-10-08T22:42:43.013-07:002012-10-08T22:42:43.013-07:00Thanks Jill. Leo slept really well last night, he ...Thanks Jill. Leo slept really well last night, he was a much happier kid in general today for it.<br /><br />@Anne, Leo is a bit different than your W, the other parent's comment didn't even register with him because he was too mad to pay her any mind. I'm the one who took it badly, not him.<br /><br />I actually don't really mind if other folks tell my kids to behave, if they do so appropriately -- but this was inappropriate for Leo and autistic kids like him, though I don't know if the other parent realized this.Shannon Des Roches Rosahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18057806553670980068noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5563550.post-17490399174830450142012-10-08T22:28:11.383-07:002012-10-08T22:28:11.383-07:00My god, you have some major self control! I'v...My god, you have some major self control! I've watched as my "super special" kid has been on the receiving end of another parent's wrath (W is shy and will physically and mentally shut down if anyone pushes her too far) and I almost went full out Mama Bear on that poor woman. You DO NOT tell my kid how to behave - I'm her mom...that's MY job. Grrrrr...<br /><br />You have the patience of a super angel.<br /><br />AnneAnitahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14028158646846120951noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5563550.post-59533622554079275512012-10-08T21:30:56.605-07:002012-10-08T21:30:56.605-07:00(((((SHANNON))))) we are always our own worst crit...(((((SHANNON))))) we are always our own worst critics, aren't we? I hope you're able to get some sleep.jillsmohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14471645179097384631noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5563550.post-2384898142474743302012-10-08T21:25:03.101-07:002012-10-08T21:25:03.101-07:00The other parent has a very different, more author...The other parent has a very different, more authoritarian parenting style than mine, and a very different kid. (The team is for kids with disabilities, not autism.) I am just an instant-wilter. I doubt she understood how her comment would affect me, or how unhelpful it was for Leo.<br /><br />Tired sucks. Different is bad. I'm glad to hear from you all, and hope that Emily encounters only friendly Captchas from here on out, Beth & her team find regulation, & Maya's crew now has most bathroom variations figured out. xoShannon Des Roches Rosahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18057806553670980068noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5563550.post-15872037814839537562012-10-08T17:27:52.196-07:002012-10-08T17:27:52.196-07:00I had a similar situation a couple of weeks ago :-...I had a similar situation a couple of weeks ago :-/ I took the boys to my alma mater for a tailgate party. I'd packed headphones in case the noise was an issue for M. I totally forgot about the bathrooms though! M was doing a good job with learning to use the toilet and I didn't prep him for how the bathrooms might be different. We walked into the bathroom at the dining hall and he completely. lost. it because there were the hand dryers that you stick your hand in, instead of paper towel machines or quiet hand dryers. I was able to get him into diapers but a woman who walked in decided it would be helpful to say "little boy, you need to hurry up because the rest of us have to use the bathroom!" I lost my cool and chewed her out. Luckily we were able to salvage the day but I felt awful and stupid for not being prepared enough.<br /><br />So, all that to say you are not alone. You were able to save the day. Be gentle with yourself.MarfMomhttp://marfmom.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5563550.post-2469953838997754462012-10-08T14:39:54.536-07:002012-10-08T14:39:54.536-07:00I hate that you are all going through the exhausti...I hate that you are all going through the exhaustion and its attendant dysregulation. We're going through some similar stuff. Not sure if I was reading into your words...please don't wear the hair shirt too long. You are human and Leo's day got turned around really fast. THAT was good decision making.<br /><br />And the fact that you didn't rip the other parent a new one? Fortitude, my dear. IMMENSE fortitude. xoNiksmomhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14715465327343655483noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5563550.post-9737984429756904042012-10-08T14:16:22.723-07:002012-10-08T14:16:22.723-07:00Tired is just bad all around, period. Poor all of ...Tired is just bad all around, period. Poor all of you. I won't say how burning stupid it usually is to tell ANY upset human being to calm down. Yeah, that one works every time. (imagine massive eyeroll here)<br /><br />ETA: This captcha is kicking my ass.EJ Willinghamhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07333507287598525182noreply@blogger.com