tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5563550.post9124261356092879341..comments2024-02-02T03:32:36.204-07:00Comments on SQUIDALICIOUS: 89.42%Unknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger7125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5563550.post-37400692214495870672011-11-16T22:06:05.653-08:002011-11-16T22:06:05.653-08:00I am still going to buy her a pillow pet. Whether ...I am still going to buy her a pillow pet. Whether you like it or not.Jen Myershttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17178547646207135454noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5563550.post-37285011806645021922011-11-08T12:21:55.217-08:002011-11-08T12:21:55.217-08:00For any parents that stick to their agreed upon st...For any parents that stick to their agreed upon strategy, Yeah for you! When we back down, give in (or give up) the parental authority is undermined.When we give in we are actually confusing the child. They think, "Wait a minute. It was okay yesterday. Not today. Maybe if I just keep pushing & complaining, they'll give in. I know I can beat them at that game. Easy." You will be confusing them, but they have a game plan ahead of you.<br /><br />Being in agreement with what the parameters are for "earning" a cell phone is great, but sometimes we don't even agree with our children on that front. That's okay. Your rules are there for boundaries to keep your child safe while they are learning some hard lessons that do come with age. Remember that they do not have the prefrontal lobe connected totally. They do not see the consequence coming, the thought process to "keep track" of everything and what that means to them.Adults get confused with the size of their child meaning that the brain is functioning as an adult. This is not true. Therefore, we do have to be diligent in teaching behavior=consequence. They can learn. Talking about the basics may seem too elementary to parents but the repetition of different circumstances and what they resulted in are teaching moments. Asking them what could they have done differently helps them to use their own cognition to understand and hopefully choose differently the next time.<br /><br />The expense incurred with a cell phone can be shared with the child. I like the talk of how much time it takes Dad or Mom to accumulate that amount of money to pay for the privilege (break it down to hours) may help in the appreciation of even having one. Let them do the math, don't just tell them. If they don't have a job outside of the house, perhaps other chores could be listed to contribute toward this expense. There still have to be regular chores that need to be done just because they live with you and everyone contributes to the "team." See what you can come up with that is adding to this list but can be accepted as paid for.<br />If you do not agree on the itunes show that the child wants, for whatever reason, say you might feel it's inappropriate; you are the parent. Your vote comes first with your own reasons. State them and walk away. Being a parent means being the last word. The trap of, "But Johnny has it!" (whatever the dire situation is), you are in charge as the parent. What have you both decided? Talk it over, give an answer in your time frame. Be the adult. Do your homework together. That means be honest with each other about what you feel is okay and not okay. When our children disagree with us we can "cave" because we are doubting ourselves. Talk to some other parents, if ya like. Collect information and then make a unified decision and STICK TO IT. Yes, things can change but only when you have both come to the same conclusion and at least give the first shot a good amount of time or they'll know you have "caved."Sue Baldinghttp://suebalding.posterous.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5563550.post-68749331219025076522011-11-07T18:36:40.562-08:002011-11-07T18:36:40.562-08:00She's honoring her agreement. I think she'...She's honoring her agreement. I think she's spent enough time with kick-ass role models like her mom and her Auntie Badger that there's no way in hell she'd tolerate a scenario that was arbitrarily unfair. But this arrangement is both fair and not arbitrary in the least.Shannon Des Roches Rosahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18057806553670980068noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5563550.post-67972494607735104342011-11-07T18:22:47.582-08:002011-11-07T18:22:47.582-08:00That's the way the world works ?! Well, yes in...That's the way the world works ?! Well, yes in that people with authority make arbitrary rules and decisions. But the world also works to where crappy things happen and people work together to improve them and console each other. People also can develop the valuable skill of persuading the arbitrary rule-makers to make exceptions. <br /><br />Would you want to teach Iz to just shrug in the face of some future petty bureaucrat who tells her she can't (do whatever) because she hasn't (whatever it is)? I hope not. <br /><br />I hope Iz will also learn how to subvert power and authority. Even though right now that means you, what about in the future when it's not and when the rules suck and don't make sense? Then the answer is not "Oh well, I guess I'll just have to scrabble to make myself "better" by someone else's standards". <br /><br />I have apparently not given you enough anarchist tracts.badgermamahttp://bookmaniac.orgnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5563550.post-18784187318340969202011-11-07T11:35:33.775-08:002011-11-07T11:35:33.775-08:00Applause to the Iz parents for standing firm. Sym...Applause to the Iz parents for standing firm. Sympathy to the Iz for missing the bar by such a narrow margin.Liz Ditzhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03455722013211350247noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5563550.post-69155681856661243022011-11-07T11:35:30.446-08:002011-11-07T11:35:30.446-08:00I was going to argue with you on that...until you ...I was going to argue with you on that...until you said she was getting it in two months anyway. Now, I applaud. We've done similar with Em, making her deal with the results of her own actions, no matter how tempting it is to turn her frown upside down. You done good.TChttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09490117693253485044noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5563550.post-92046350452490312552011-11-07T11:30:26.635-08:002011-11-07T11:30:26.635-08:00Wow, I commend you. I'd have been so tempted t...Wow, I commend you. I'd have been so tempted to cave in. Probably would have caved in. But now I'll have this to remember. And you're 100% right. Valuable lesson, lucky girl. Super mom.kristen spinahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12099514779097752438noreply@blogger.com