I have told Iz that I will help her with her self-organization skills, but that she has to take responsibility for managing her own business in a timely manner, even if books and TV beckon more alluringly. I reminded her that she's ninety percent of the way there with most of her school work and self-starting her homework, etc.
And I told her that there would be no more yelling in anger. Not at all. It's intolerable, it's going to give me a blood-pressure-triggered heart attack, and it's a horrible example for her siblings. It turns our pleasant, well-organized morning school drop off routine into a traveling misery-fest.
So, what will we do? We do our best to follow the examples of non-yellers Jesus, Dumbledore, and Buddha. We will become a JeDuBu household.
The Precepts of JeDuBu
- We will give each other the benefit of the doubt instead of making accusations.
- We will be mindful that ours is one of only two perspectives in a dialog.
- We will pause whenever we feel the urge to yell, and wait until we can speak calmly.
- We will try to be patient, and wait for the other person to finish talking before we speak.
- We will try to accommodate each others' emotional states.
- We will remember that we love each other, and treat each other as loved ones.
- We will reserve the right to tweak each other's noses non-maliciously, as needed.