I have had it with living in a yelling house. And by yelling, I don't meant hollering to get each others' attention because of the cavernous and sound-dampening nature of our dwelling, but shrieking with fury because we are bucking under the strain of being in middle school and having responsibilities, and do not like the consequences of neglecting said responsibilities. Or we are, possibly, a female adult reacting to said middle school shrieking.
I have told Iz that I will help her with her self-organization skills, but that she has to take responsibility for managing her own business in a timely manner, even if books and TV beckon more alluringly. I reminded her that she's ninety percent of the way there with most of her school work and self-starting her homework, etc.
And I told her that there would be no more yelling in anger. Not at all. It's intolerable, it's going to give me a blood-pressure-triggered heart attack, and it's a horrible example for her siblings. It turns our pleasant, well-organized morning school drop off routine into a traveling misery-fest.
So, what will we do? We do our best to follow the examples of non-yellers Jesus, Dumbledore, and Buddha. We will become a JeDuBu household.
The Precepts of JeDuBu
- We will give each other the benefit of the doubt instead of making accusations.
- We will be mindful that ours is one of only two perspectives in a dialog.
- We will pause whenever we feel the urge to yell, and wait until we can speak calmly.
- We will try to be patient, and wait for the other person to finish talking before we speak.
- We will try to accommodate each others' emotional states.
- We will remember that we love each other, and treat each other as loved ones.
- We will reserve the right to tweak each other's noses non-maliciously, as needed.