Letter

Finally got our Grinch letter sent out via email, so we could properly spit in the face of the kind people who usually send us gifts:

Hello Family and Friends,

Way back in the optimistic haze of November, Seymour and I started working on this year's original holiday letter, below. We really did think we'd be lobbing holiday love-bombs in a timely fashion. (Stop laughing!) Here goes:

The Holiday season is upon us. Seymour and I are thrilled at the thought of spending time with family and friends.

If you've already found the perfect gift for us, read no further. We love opening presents! [Seymour does, anyhow.]

But if you had planned on purchasing a gift for us and have not yet done so, this year we humbly ask you to direct your good will towards a charitable cause of your choosing. We are truly blessed and have more possessions than we could possibly ever need.

We'd also be honored if you chose to donate something in our name. We've set up a Giving Registry through an organization called GlobalGiving. They connect donors directly to social, economic development, and environmental projects around the world. The projects we selected are doing vital work in India, Brazil, South Africa, Pakistan and the world's oceans.

Seymour has had the great privilege of meeting the leadership of all these projects through his work at The Wack Showcase of Widgetry. They all apply technology in innovative ways to address some of humanity's most difficult problems: hunger, illiteracy, sanitation, poverty, and sustainable fisheries.

To access this GlobalGiving registry, please visit: http://www.globalgiving.com/registry/ and type our last name in the search box.

Much love and best wishes for the holidays. We love you and hope to see you soon.

Squid, Seymour, Isobel, Leelo, and Mali

Black Hole of Aural Ecstasy

Oh geez Louise. Don't say I didn't warn you.

www.pandora.com

Via Karin, who professed innocence at the time. Right.

No No. 2

Iz, from the back seat:

"Mommy, why isn't food more efficient? Why aren't our bodies more efficient? I mean, if our small intestines could just absorb all the food, then we wouldn't need our large intestines at all! We wouldn't need to have anuses! That would be a lot more convenient."

Me (what's there to discuss?): "Yup, you're right. And I'm all for convenience."

Didn't Go

Last night was WWD up in San Francisco. I'd been looking forward to it for months, but then at the last minute opted to send Seymour without me. Which apparently worried some of my friends. So, know that simply:

1) I am tired.
2) I blew it with the babysitting arrival times last night, and that was my fault, not Seymour's, so I told him to go.
3) I realized upon the babysitters' arrival (not C. S., but rather her daughter and Marroqui) that they were not quite experienced enough to deal with putting all three kids to bed, and that I didn't feel comfortable leaving the city limits lest they should need me.
4) The social arrangements were getting complicated, the bar was going to be crowded, some of Badger's friends are snippy to me, all of which make for a three-pronged introvert nightmare.

So I opted out. Had a perfectly lovely dinner all by myself, with my book. Yeah!

Not Sleeping Well

"...by studying videos of children taken a year apart, observers blinded to a child's diagnosis and regression history found evidence that infants who were later diagnosed with autism spectrum disorders with regression appeared to have similar interpersonal skills and advanced communication abilities compared with typical kids at 12 months of age, only to lose those abilities by 24 months."

More:

http://www.medpagetoday.com/Pediatrics/Autism/tb/1463
http://www.medscape.com/viewarticle/512353

Piercing

Iz got her ears pierced last night. She asked Seymour and me about it the night before, we said sure she could, and so after a provisions run we then scoped the local tattoo/piercing/head/altwear shop to see if they could accommodate her.

Not only were they totally cool and nice and professional, but we were in and out in less than ten minutes. She was brave and steadfast.

She couldn't wait to get home so she could phone her grandparents with the news. Which she did thusly:

"Grandma! It's Izzy! Guess what I got pierced!"

Request:

You know what improves my mood? Music. Except I've no time to search out new stuff. Ideally a mix from Skip would magically appear in my mailbox, but until then perhaps y'all could recommend some downloadable mood lifters? Sal0n had a great one the other day but I couldn't figure out how to get it onto my Nan0.

Storm Clouds

Things have been far too stressful for far too long and I don't know what to do about it. Recent events with a friend and her partner have left me worried that I don't know how to get my partner a break so that he doesn't crack. One of us has to remain hinged. Yet we've less than two weeks in which to do all that needs to be done for the holidays--on top of taming our usual chaos--before we go to Seattle. Once we get there the stress-o-meter will stay at eleven for eight days straight.

How stressful are things? Stressful enough that I screamed at my six year old daughter last night, to shut up and stop whining. Result? She spent this afternoon on her best behavior, doing everything I asked in a timely fashion. Not because that is her natural inclination, but rather because I scared the shit out of her and now she's afraid of making me angry. That's some fine parenting, hooo dawgie. Give me a medal!

Every night as I go to sleep, I tell myself that at least the next day will be better. Who the fuck am I kidding? Here is my today, and it is not atypical:

• -Therapist L calls to cancel for today (morning: therapy at home, afternoon: Iron Gate aide) as she had a medical emergency.
• -Exit house at 7:30 to take Leelo to Occupational Therapy in Deadwood Shores
• -Slip on ice-slick exterior wood stairs, fall flat on back and see former sleeping babe-in-arms hit cold hard stair. Thankfully she only rolled off my shoulder, but that is sure as hell not how she would choose to wake up.
• -Go inside, check out baby, calm down baby
• -Re-exit house, gingerly
• -Walk by our only piece of nice luggage, which is airing in front of the garage as Scabby pissed on it.
• -Call Pediatrician on way to OT as Mali has been sick for four weeks now, and things have become crusty (eyes and nose). Also cough is really chesty and looks like it hurts. Leave message.
• -Arrive 7 minutes late for OT. Which costs $2/minute.
• -Go to Satan's Coffee, congratulating myself for at least remembering to bring my own cup. Too bad I brought the wrong lid. Exit store bearing paper cup.
  
• -Pick up Leelo, who had a tolerable session with some good coloring and scissor work. Yay Leelo!
• -Run errands on way home. Advice nurse calls while I am in check out line. I try to move to the side so as to delay checking out but clerk pointedly starts scanning my items while I am on phone talking about my very sick baby while also Mali whines on my hip and Leelo tries to escape my hold on his wrist. Mali needs to come in and see a doctor.
• -Dash home. Frantically prepare Leelo's and Mali's backpacks for Iron Gate. Spaz over preparing snack for Iron Gate kids and parents.
• -Team meeting at home, with Supervisor M, Therapist S, and (yay!) Sage. Good but long discussion. Leelo has been having a shitty three weeks since we returned from Phoenix, and we are concentrating on removing stressors from his environment. However he is not losing any skills, not regressing. No point in adding anything new to program as we're traveling again, soon.
• -Leelo drops glass cup on tile floor, mid-meeting. It shatters all around his feet and he cuts his finger, which I do not notice until Supervisor M points it out--Mother of the Year! Cut is small and stops bleeding quickly, which is good as Leelo will not tolerate band aids.
• -Supervisor M brings a selection of books for kids about autism and suggests that most are insufficient and that I should write a better one. YEAH. Maybe in 2010.
• -Run Leelo and Mali to Iron Gate. Saintly Supervisor M takes over first part of Therapist L's shift with Leelo.
• -Arrive in Iron Gate kitchen. Realize that previous kitcheneer declined to put away clean dishes from dish rack and dishwasher. Nark on said person to Iron Gate president. Feel smaller blood vessels popping inside cranium, as working Kitchen/snack is stressful enough without even the slightest additional demands.
• -Sage arrives to say hi and puts away all the dishes! Goddess!
• -Realize after prepping snack and giving several people breaks that snack time has not been called and it is getting late.
• -Leelo is handed to me by Supervisor M as she needs to leave to pick up her own kids (saint!). Hip-load Leelo as I finish up a teaching lesson. Leelo then helps me wheel the snack cart down to snack area.
• -Children are snarling little demons, wrestling over banana muffins and deserving to have tiny horns branded on the sides of their foreheads. I resolve to never have children.
• -Leelo, now free-range, dashes through my field of vision from time to time.
• -Snack ends late late late. I sprint back to the kitchen to start cleaning up, as I'd intended to clean up early so as to be Leelo's bedrock during circle time (he cannot attend unaided).
• -Saintly JL comes on Teacher P's orders to take over clean up so I can help Leelo.
• -I help Leelo for five minutes (he does so well!) but then Mali starts howling from the nursery and I'm told to take her, too.
• -The shift from hell finally ends
• -As I am dropping of Sage's Ki (Leelo's carpooly classmate) at home I remember that I never retrieved the snack tray from the nursery (where Mali and all the micro-Gaters are penned while their parents toil). Go me!
• -Retrieve Iz from Badger's popcorn-and-cranberry string fest. Am so implosive that I yell at Iz again--in front of everyone--this time for forgetting her coat at school. Make no eye contact with anyone (more on that later) and leave quickly.
• -Come home to find ants invading entire home, specifically kitchen. Sweep them all outside and leave more deadly forms of warfare to Seymour.
• -Seymour calls at time he usually arrives home to tell me that he's just leaving his office 30 minutes away.
• -Realize that that same body of mine that took a pratfall on the stairs this A.M. is now very sore.
• -Finally remember to call back Pediatrician to make appointment for Mali. However the office is closed for the day.
• -Mali takes forever to go to sleep.
• -And here I am.
  

I must say that I love my friends dearly, but that I simply cannot tolerate being around them right now. And yes these would be the same friends who picked up Iz from school this afternoon (Jo), hosted her all afternoon (Badger), and had her over to play all day on Saturday (Ep). I am having a hard time articulating why but it's mostly rooted in jealousy over their large slots of child-free time, so I'll just trust that you can understand and avoid me for now.

Encoded

I am not always the very worst mom in the entire world. Granted, my baby hasn't had her nails trimmed in several weeks, I just realized that my son hasn't been taking his calcium supplements for oh, a YEAR now, and my husband had to pick up tooth fairy slack this past week when I spaced not only on Iz's first front tooth-losing and all related subterfuge and follow-up, but on the second as well (the second is more understandable as she swallowed it).

But I don't always entirely suck. Witness the below: a code with which to track down all the clues in her advent box. (A code which does suck as I whipped out in five minutes, but as she's six she doesn't care.) I wrote it out the evening of Dec. 1st after she started wondering why Santa hadn't put out her advent box yet. Said box has a wee giftie drawer for each of the twenty-four days leading up to Christmas. The next morning she found this key, a clue, and had herself a short hunt leading to her very own egg separator.

I think it would be very funny if people were to write her short letters in her code. It would lend weight to my line that Santa created it, not me, and that he's distributed it to certain types of parents (i.e., that slim cross section containing both cool cats and Santaphiles). Let me know if you need her snail mail address.

Two Teef

Iz has lost both front teeth. The timing is good--she was very excited to ask for them back on her letter to Santa (in whom she still believes, believe it or don't).

Our poor girl has a lot of big teeth in a small jaw. We have taken to calling her "Flukie" behind her back:

Traveling Blues

Two nights ago Seymour and I were watching the Tour de Faso (Burkina Faso, that is; we have been there) and I was getting depressed because it's been far too long since we've been to Africa, and it will be far too long again until we get to go anywhere that isn't special needs family friendly.

(Aside: I am only going to write this once more and then never bring it up again, though I might put it on the about page: Yes, only a privileged sort can whine about missing trips to Africa. I should and do count my blessings. That doesn't mean I can't complain about things in my life that are not going as expected. Fuck off.)

Last night I was chatting about my traveling blues with Armada, Violet's mom (who was just in Zamb1a for three weeks, sometimes I HATE HER but only out of pure green envy) because she of all people understands the need to see what other parts of the world are like. She mentioned that some of her friends were going to the Dog0n region of Mali in the near future. I mentioned that a friend of mine is a guide there. I contacted him to see how he's doing, and to ask if he could help her friends out, and...check it out! He's got his own web site. How cool is that.