12.30.2003

Why I Am Lucky

Okay now. That was a bitchload of bitching. I suspect my hormones are working against me--I don't know how other people experience PMS, but I switch into harpy/maudlin/self-loathing/severe depression mode. Normally I am a chirpy little bird (right?) or at least know that my life is peaches and cream compared to many.

What I mean is that, for the most part, I am grateful for the kids I've got. Why? The list below details what happened to people I personally know when they attempted to reproduce. If you are trying to get pregnant or are already pregnant, you should probably stop reading now:

Infertility (4)
Ectopic pregnancy at 6 weeks resulting in permanent fallopian tube blockage (2)
Miscarriage at 8 weeks (3, probably more)
Miscarriage at 12 weeks (2)
Late-term miscarriage at 5 1/2 months (1)
Late-term abortion at 6 months due to irreparable birth defects (1)
Stillbirth (2)
Severe c1eft lip and palate (2)
Down's Syndrome (1)
Achondrop1astic dwarfism (1)
Several rounds of expensive IVF treatments, baby severely retarded from birth (1)
SIDS at 3 months (1)
Several rounds of expensive IVF treatments, SIDS at 5 months (1)
Type 1 Spina1 Musc1e Atrophy (1)
Fragi1e X Syndrome (1)

So, I'm cool. Good to go. Happy to have two healthy, loving kids. Got some perspective.

Off to the movies (by myself, I should not socialize right now). Big F*sh. Looking forward to it. Then dinner (again, by myself).

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