Straightjacketed

Ah, poor Leelo, he is still a miserable little inconsolable sicko. Won't use words. Won't sleep (except cat-napping in the car). Won't let me put him down most of the time. Won't be pleased by anything that normally distracts and happifies him. Will only cry and whine and make me pick him up then put him down then pick him up then put him down and look at me searchingly, silently pleading for an end to his pain. Daddy is unacceptable. Mommy only, all day, every day, for the past week.

Another trip to his pediatrician this A.M., who said no strep, no bronchitis, but definitely a sinus infection and that means antibiotics. Fark. Put a call into Dr. P who said no antibiotics yet--try this three-pronged 8x/daily barrage of homeopathic remedies and let's see if that works first. If by Saturday night there's no improvement, then antibiotics. Leelo will still be in homeopathic wait-and-see test drive mode during his birthday party. Yeah!

I'm not very efficient under optimal conditions, so all this is greatly affecting my party-giving abilities. I like a good bash, and usually spend the three days beforehand doing all the relevant errands. When I tried going to the grocery store yesterday, Leelo screamed non-stop unless I held him on my hip--at which point he turned the volume down by about 50% but kept at it. Doesn't bode well for the trips to the insane party store and other grocery store. Lordy lordy lord.

Seeing as Leelo is being distracted by Bob the Builder for a blessed few moments, I will tell you about his theoretical birthday party; the one I imagined would happen rather than the tatty chips-n-dip affair it will probably end up being:

One goal is a completely Leelo-friendly menu. No wheat/gluten, dairy, soy, peanuts, eggs, sugar, citrus. Partly this is practical, but there is a self-serving aspect since I am sick of people going on about poor us having to eat crappy bland complicated food substitutes. Here's our yummy, bulletproof menu:

West African Nut Stew w/pounded rice balls
Pesto and tomato pasta
Pumpkin Pakoras
Meat Loaf (Seymour's carnivorous brother might faint at a completely vegan affair)
Roasted potato and vegetable salad
Potato Chips
Guacamole & Tortilla Chips
Vegetable and Fruit Crudites
Pineapple Velvet Cake (the boy gets one sugar exception on his birthday)
Beer!
Wine!
Margaritas!

Gastronomically, it's a global hodge-podge, united only by the thread that Leelo could eat every last bite if he chose to (though he won't touch 95% of it). Just TRY offering him tequila.

The other goal is: no goody bags! I hate hate hate goody bags even more than I resent people bringing presents to a party after I ask them not to (can't we just eat, be merry and celebrate without laying out all that cash for toys and goods that won't fit in my overstuffed house anyhow?).

Goody bags are becoming de rigeur for kiddie birthday parties, to which I say: fuck that, and fuck the pressure that makes the average goody bag cost $15. I prefer to hand out silly activity books and crayons, things that the kids can actually use for more than 5 seconds, and which might even trip a circuit in their brains. But since I don't know if I'll have time to get the crayons and books together, I have a backup stash of Chinese fingercuffs to hand to anyone who asks where the goody bags are.