Tonight We Slip Brandy Into His Rice Milk
Leelo slept for a grand total of two hours last night. He didn't even get to sleep until 6:30 AM. If today hadn't been Saturday, we'd all be frakked, as 6:30 is when we usually get up. But, thankfully, Leelo got to sleep until 8:30.
I don't know what caused his insomnia. Possibly it's his cold, possibly he's gearing up for a huge developmental leap (right?). He did talk a lot while he was rolling around in his bed not sleeping, and what he said was funny: "Boy and girl. Girl and boy. Boy and girl!" "I like baa, but I love moo. Do you love moo? You like moo but I love baa!" Um, okay. He has a wonderful reciprocal social smile when he's too exhausted to be hyperactive, and can therefore focus. Too bad he's being parented by zombies today.
Seymour took last night's first shift and I took the second. At this moment Seymour is sleeping. In about half an hour I am going for my annual Spring rite: paying someone else to rip all out all the hair on my legs, by the roots. Then I'll have a facial, during which I hope to fall asleep. Huge indulgences both, and ones that I don't normally submit to without a gift certificate. But necessary, if only for the time I'll get to spend in my head, by myself, without distractions.
3.30.2007
An Opportunity to Cackle
An Opportunity to Cackle
I couldn't stop myself from sending the following letter to the Deadwood City Moms' Club:
There was a spelling bee at Kep1er's earlier tonight. It was hosted by SC0RE! Learning Centers of Pa1o A1to and Men1o Park, but was open to any local child who wanted to compete.
Guess who placed first and third out of 130 kids from PA, MP, and surrounding towns? Deadwood City public school students.
Think about that the next time you hear someone at the park or playground start talking about how they have to move out of Deadwood City "because of the schools."
Have a good weekend,
-Squid
That would be Iz who placed in third (again). First place went to the same fifth grader who beat her at their own school's bee earlier this year.
Iz is an amazing kid. I wonder what she could do if she took that brain of hers out of cruise control once in a while.
I couldn't stop myself from sending the following letter to the Deadwood City Moms' Club:
There was a spelling bee at Kep1er's earlier tonight. It was hosted by SC0RE! Learning Centers of Pa1o A1to and Men1o Park, but was open to any local child who wanted to compete.
Guess who placed first and third out of 130 kids from PA, MP, and surrounding towns? Deadwood City public school students.
Think about that the next time you hear someone at the park or playground start talking about how they have to move out of Deadwood City "because of the schools."
Have a good weekend,
-Squid
That would be Iz who placed in third (again). First place went to the same fifth grader who beat her at their own school's bee earlier this year.
Iz is an amazing kid. I wonder what she could do if she took that brain of hers out of cruise control once in a while.
Was I a Tobacco Lobbyist in a Previous Life?
Was I a Tobacco Lobbyist in a Previous Life?
Yesterday Mali was still coughing too much to attend Iron Gate. Leelo's afternoon therapist called in sick with stomach flu. About five appliances in the house mysteriously went kaput. Seymour's car broke down and he needed two different lifts to two different parts of town in the middle of afternoon school pickup and Iz piano lesson time. I hauled all three kids to Stafnord for a Leelo intake evaluation regarding a research study on autism and beating the shit out of everyone around you all the time -- except that the intake was mysteriously supposed to be today, which is impossible given Leelo's schedule. I was kind of relieved, actually, as Leelo had jumped into a fountain on the way into the clinic and was barefoot with soaking wet pants, from knees down.
Today Leelo's teacher sent him home for being "sick" (slight cough and runny nose, symptoms which in my experience are de rigeur for 50% of the kids during cold season, and should be NO PROBLEM FOR A KID WITH A FULL TIME 1:1 AIDE). This is the fourth time she has sent or tried to send him home for being sick in the past two weeks. I don't usually mind having my son home, but a non-ADHD-medicated Leelo means a boy who bolts into the yard every time my back is turned, and who will not sit still for any amount of time unless he's wolfing down some food or has stranded himself on top of the fridge or media cabinet. And now he's suddenly decided that all bottles are potential sources of that Olympian nectar, fruit juice, so he has been going through the house taking the lids off of any bottles he finds and taking a swig. I don't mind the bubble bath or shampoo so much, but I shrieked and tackled him when he started to open Mali's prednisone syrup. (Child-proof cap, my arse.)
He and Mali have spent the morning systematically shredding every room in this house. And we have to host Iz's fucking CLASS BUNNY for the weekend. I think we may be having game for dinner tonight.
Normally all this wouldn't get me down. But it's been a shitty couple of weeks, and this last crapload has me starting to buckle. I haven't stopped feeling sick to my stomach since I got the "Unacceptable Leelo Classroom Behavior" phone call on Tuesday. None of the advocates I've contacted re: Leelo's IEP coming up on Tuesday have called me back. Nor have any of the schools I've contacted for more information.
I don't understand who or what I've pissed off, celestially, but I am publicly declaring here and now that I concede defeat. Tell me what you want me to do, and I'll do it.
Yesterday Mali was still coughing too much to attend Iron Gate. Leelo's afternoon therapist called in sick with stomach flu. About five appliances in the house mysteriously went kaput. Seymour's car broke down and he needed two different lifts to two different parts of town in the middle of afternoon school pickup and Iz piano lesson time. I hauled all three kids to Stafnord for a Leelo intake evaluation regarding a research study on autism and beating the shit out of everyone around you all the time -- except that the intake was mysteriously supposed to be today, which is impossible given Leelo's schedule. I was kind of relieved, actually, as Leelo had jumped into a fountain on the way into the clinic and was barefoot with soaking wet pants, from knees down.
Today Leelo's teacher sent him home for being "sick" (slight cough and runny nose, symptoms which in my experience are de rigeur for 50% of the kids during cold season, and should be NO PROBLEM FOR A KID WITH A FULL TIME 1:1 AIDE). This is the fourth time she has sent or tried to send him home for being sick in the past two weeks. I don't usually mind having my son home, but a non-ADHD-medicated Leelo means a boy who bolts into the yard every time my back is turned, and who will not sit still for any amount of time unless he's wolfing down some food or has stranded himself on top of the fridge or media cabinet. And now he's suddenly decided that all bottles are potential sources of that Olympian nectar, fruit juice, so he has been going through the house taking the lids off of any bottles he finds and taking a swig. I don't mind the bubble bath or shampoo so much, but I shrieked and tackled him when he started to open Mali's prednisone syrup. (Child-proof cap, my arse.)
He and Mali have spent the morning systematically shredding every room in this house. And we have to host Iz's fucking CLASS BUNNY for the weekend. I think we may be having game for dinner tonight.
Normally all this wouldn't get me down. But it's been a shitty couple of weeks, and this last crapload has me starting to buckle. I haven't stopped feeling sick to my stomach since I got the "Unacceptable Leelo Classroom Behavior" phone call on Tuesday. None of the advocates I've contacted re: Leelo's IEP coming up on Tuesday have called me back. Nor have any of the schools I've contacted for more information.
I don't understand who or what I've pissed off, celestially, but I am publicly declaring here and now that I concede defeat. Tell me what you want me to do, and I'll do it.
Technorati Tags: autism, autistic, parenting, parenting burn out, special needs kids, special needs parenting
3.29.2007
Juggling and Reassessing Crises
Juggling and Reassessing Crises
Turns out that the district rep's carefully worded statement to me did not actually mean Leelo could not go to school, but rather that his current classroom situation is untenable due to his behavioral issues and that we need to come up with both short term and long term solutions. The rep had mentioned to me that "some parents do choose to do home study," which, since I so desperately want Leelo out of that class, took to mean he was supposed to stay home. I should have asked more pointedly for clarification, I guess, but I have a hard time doing so when I'm trying not to let the person on the other end of the line know that I'm crying like a pussy. I wish I wasn't such a suck and a blabbermouth, but really do appreciate all the support you've expressed.
And we should all still be aghast, because it turns out that Leelo is beating on his aide to the point where she is bruised and the district is providing he with "protective gear." Since Leelo does not behave that way at home with me or with Therapists L or Y, the only logical conclusion is that his classroom environment is completely inappropriate and is driving him fucking nuts.
Leelo's aggression towards his aide is what upsets me the most. Even though she was the one who sought intervention from the district, she really does care about Leelo; she specifically does not want to be reassigned, and she does want to learn how best to support Leelo in the class. She has the innate skills and talent to succeed, were she and Leelo in a more suitable environment. But I don't see how can she succeed with Leelo in that class, with that teacher. And I still don't understand how Leelo's classroom behavior could have reached that crisis point without me being aware of it.
Short term solution: Leelo's going back to school tomorrow with lots of extra staff support, and then we have an IEP on Tuesday. During which we intend to agitate for a different placement. And to which we hope to bring an advocate. Signora Blog has kindly volunteered to do "IEP Homework" with me tomorrow night so that I can pull out the big guns should we need to do so. I hope we don't need to do so.
My preoccupation with Leelo's predicament was temporarily shunted aside by a wonderful distraction: a hot date with Seymour to see Gilberto Gil in concert. My soul was purified and set at ease, especially when Mr. Gil invoked the spirit of Bob Marley and his Three Little Birds.
Then I got home to an email from Iz's teacher saying that Iz had two serious behavioral incidents at school today. In both the morning and the afternoon, she got pissed off at students who were merely sitting where she wanted to sit. In both cases she harassed the students, both verbally and physically (pushing and/or pulling them), and refused to let it go or stop harassing the students during and after staff intervention. Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah. This is a big WTF.
Iz is having a rough time at home, as Leelo currently stalks and attacks her whenever he gets the chance, despite our best efforts to keep them separate. But this is not an excuse, because her behavior is not excusable. I need to talk to her, and to Seymour about her, as this kind of behavior could lead to serious, documentable social and disciplinary problems. We don't need any more of those in this family.
Turns out that the district rep's carefully worded statement to me did not actually mean Leelo could not go to school, but rather that his current classroom situation is untenable due to his behavioral issues and that we need to come up with both short term and long term solutions. The rep had mentioned to me that "some parents do choose to do home study," which, since I so desperately want Leelo out of that class, took to mean he was supposed to stay home. I should have asked more pointedly for clarification, I guess, but I have a hard time doing so when I'm trying not to let the person on the other end of the line know that I'm crying like a pussy. I wish I wasn't such a suck and a blabbermouth, but really do appreciate all the support you've expressed.
And we should all still be aghast, because it turns out that Leelo is beating on his aide to the point where she is bruised and the district is providing he with "protective gear." Since Leelo does not behave that way at home with me or with Therapists L or Y, the only logical conclusion is that his classroom environment is completely inappropriate and is driving him fucking nuts.
Leelo's aggression towards his aide is what upsets me the most. Even though she was the one who sought intervention from the district, she really does care about Leelo; she specifically does not want to be reassigned, and she does want to learn how best to support Leelo in the class. She has the innate skills and talent to succeed, were she and Leelo in a more suitable environment. But I don't see how can she succeed with Leelo in that class, with that teacher. And I still don't understand how Leelo's classroom behavior could have reached that crisis point without me being aware of it.
Short term solution: Leelo's going back to school tomorrow with lots of extra staff support, and then we have an IEP on Tuesday. During which we intend to agitate for a different placement. And to which we hope to bring an advocate. Signora Blog has kindly volunteered to do "IEP Homework" with me tomorrow night so that I can pull out the big guns should we need to do so. I hope we don't need to do so.
My preoccupation with Leelo's predicament was temporarily shunted aside by a wonderful distraction: a hot date with Seymour to see Gilberto Gil in concert. My soul was purified and set at ease, especially when Mr. Gil invoked the spirit of Bob Marley and his Three Little Birds.
Then I got home to an email from Iz's teacher saying that Iz had two serious behavioral incidents at school today. In both the morning and the afternoon, she got pissed off at students who were merely sitting where she wanted to sit. In both cases she harassed the students, both verbally and physically (pushing and/or pulling them), and refused to let it go or stop harassing the students during and after staff intervention. Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah. This is a big WTF.
Iz is having a rough time at home, as Leelo currently stalks and attacks her whenever he gets the chance, despite our best efforts to keep them separate. But this is not an excuse, because her behavior is not excusable. I need to talk to her, and to Seymour about her, as this kind of behavior could lead to serious, documentable social and disciplinary problems. We don't need any more of those in this family.
Technorati Tags: autism, autistic, blabbermouths, IEP, Iz, Leelo, parenting, special education, third grade
3.27.2007
But We Were Supposed to Do the Rejecting!
But We Were Supposed to Do the Rejecting!
Good news: Leelo doesn't have chickenpox.
Bad news: Leelo is no longer welcome in his teacher's classroom. He is too big a danger and a behavioral problem. Apparently he is having upwards of 100 violent incidents per day (and this is a 3.5 hour day). I can't believe none of the staff ever told me that his behavior was so severe and unmanageable. We have (had) a daily communication log, for fuck's sake.
He'll be at home with me until we figure something out.
Good news: Leelo doesn't have chickenpox.
Bad news: Leelo is no longer welcome in his teacher's classroom. He is too big a danger and a behavioral problem. Apparently he is having upwards of 100 violent incidents per day (and this is a 3.5 hour day). I can't believe none of the staff ever told me that his behavior was so severe and unmanageable. We have (had) a daily communication log, for fuck's sake.
He'll be at home with me until we figure something out.
Technorati Tags: autism, autism blog, autistic, kindergarten, Leelo, special education, special needs kids, special needs parenting
3.26.2007
Disappointed
Disappointed
If I was one of twenty or so adults in the very small martial arts studio entryway taking shelter from the pouring rain while waiting for my child to be released from a class that is perennially ten minutes late and saw a mother struggling to manage an overly active and obviously needy six-year-old who was repeatedly trying to run onto the no-shoes-please studio floor while his mom was simultaneously hip-loading a rapidly disrobing and vocal two-year-old in addition to waiting for her third child to get out of class, and that child then needed assistance getting her gear together so that she didn't block everyone else who was trying to enter and exit the studio, I AM PRETTY FUCKING SURE THAT I WOULD ASK THAT MOTHER IF SHE COULD USE A HAND INSTEAD OF EITHER LOOKING AT HER LIKE SHE SMELLED FUNNY OR PRETENDING THAT SHE DIDN'T EXIST.
Anyhow. I then got similar treatment from the normally very helpful checkout staff at The Hole. A squad of them stood around and waited for me to unload my very full cart while my three monkeys pretended I was their favorite tree. I will not choose that cashier's line again.
Mali has spent the past week transitioning from croup to chronic congested wheezy breathing, from ibuprofen to albuterol and now to prednisone. I have been told by two pediatricians during that time that our wee girl is likely asthmatic. I am guessing that Iz's febrile seizures and exotropia, and Leelo's autism and fifteen ear infections before 27 months and the resulting ear tubes have set a Required Chronic Conditions bar for this family that wasn't being met when Iz outgrew her ailments and Leelo's ears got healthy.
Mali's chest congestion makes her sound like a shop-chopped Harley. You'd think a kid that sick wouldn't have the energy to take her clothes off in public five or six times each day, but you would be wrong:
Mali can't go to Iron Gate tomorrow morning as she is still classified as contagious and her cough would make some of the novice moms shit themselves. Since I already owe people for the shift I missed last week and since no one will trade with me as I have snack and since the thought of owing TWO Iron Gate shifts gives me hives, I have begged Jo and Ep (Goddesses!) to come watch Mali at home, while I work. As soon as I finish typing this I get to go cut up five hundred grapes. Will. Not. Miss. That. Fucking. School.
But wait, we have more sickness! Iz cried all afternoon, post-aikido, telling me that her head and jaw and ears hurt and that she was going to throw up. I thought she had the mumps but it turns out she has a slight ear infection and a mild addiction to drama.
While Iz and Seymour were at Urgent Care, my friend from Mali (the one with the jewelry) called in a wonderfully inebriated state. I have no idea what he was trying to say but he wanted to say something about the jewelry, and perhaps I should try to sell it for him. But when, and how? Merde.
During Leelo's bath I noticed that what I thought was a slight bit of eczema under his arm is actually a rash that is spreading, rather like chicken pox. If you're thinking, "Payback, hippie!" then you can bite me as Leelo was fully vaccinated. Seymour will likely take our boy into the doctor in the morning (six visits for our kids in less than two weeks, which may be our new record) and then if Leelo needs to stay home I have no idea how I'm going to manage that. I'll just write that it's not going to happen, because that will make it true.
One hour ago Supervisor M emailed us Leelo's functional analysis assessment, a detailed report that will be the basis for Leelo's Behavior Intervention Plan (the legal document detailing how school staff will handle Leelo's problem behaviors). The two things that really stand out for me -- aside from the amount of work Supervisor M put into the report -- were 1) How clearly and painfully inappropriate Leelo's classroom is for him in terms of staff skills and curriculum, and 2) How ill-equipped we are are, at home, to deal with his aggression. My brain is now paralyzed on this subject, so, next paragraph.
Seymour and I spent five days seriously thinking about cutting loose our home building plans and instead moving, but we decided that we could not handle a stress fireball of relocational intensity at this time. Plus our current house is a mouldering shitheap that no one would want to buy. (Why would we put any sweat or dollars into a house we're intending to demolish?) The place we thought about was sweet, though. Had its own bedrock cave off a hallway, behind an unassuming closet door.
And I am back where I started this morning, with another heaping dose of stress inertia. Can't. Move. Every weekday of late has felt like this, or like a gag reel -- except not funny. I am thinking of letting my understudy take over my role. I'd rather go hang out at the crafts services table anyway.
If I was one of twenty or so adults in the very small martial arts studio entryway taking shelter from the pouring rain while waiting for my child to be released from a class that is perennially ten minutes late and saw a mother struggling to manage an overly active and obviously needy six-year-old who was repeatedly trying to run onto the no-shoes-please studio floor while his mom was simultaneously hip-loading a rapidly disrobing and vocal two-year-old in addition to waiting for her third child to get out of class, and that child then needed assistance getting her gear together so that she didn't block everyone else who was trying to enter and exit the studio, I AM PRETTY FUCKING SURE THAT I WOULD ASK THAT MOTHER IF SHE COULD USE A HAND INSTEAD OF EITHER LOOKING AT HER LIKE SHE SMELLED FUNNY OR PRETENDING THAT SHE DIDN'T EXIST.
Anyhow. I then got similar treatment from the normally very helpful checkout staff at The Hole. A squad of them stood around and waited for me to unload my very full cart while my three monkeys pretended I was their favorite tree. I will not choose that cashier's line again.
Mali has spent the past week transitioning from croup to chronic congested wheezy breathing, from ibuprofen to albuterol and now to prednisone. I have been told by two pediatricians during that time that our wee girl is likely asthmatic. I am guessing that Iz's febrile seizures and exotropia, and Leelo's autism and fifteen ear infections before 27 months and the resulting ear tubes have set a Required Chronic Conditions bar for this family that wasn't being met when Iz outgrew her ailments and Leelo's ears got healthy.
Mali's chest congestion makes her sound like a shop-chopped Harley. You'd think a kid that sick wouldn't have the energy to take her clothes off in public five or six times each day, but you would be wrong:
Mali can't go to Iron Gate tomorrow morning as she is still classified as contagious and her cough would make some of the novice moms shit themselves. Since I already owe people for the shift I missed last week and since no one will trade with me as I have snack and since the thought of owing TWO Iron Gate shifts gives me hives, I have begged Jo and Ep (Goddesses!) to come watch Mali at home, while I work. As soon as I finish typing this I get to go cut up five hundred grapes. Will. Not. Miss. That. Fucking. School.
But wait, we have more sickness! Iz cried all afternoon, post-aikido, telling me that her head and jaw and ears hurt and that she was going to throw up. I thought she had the mumps but it turns out she has a slight ear infection and a mild addiction to drama.
While Iz and Seymour were at Urgent Care, my friend from Mali (the one with the jewelry) called in a wonderfully inebriated state. I have no idea what he was trying to say but he wanted to say something about the jewelry, and perhaps I should try to sell it for him. But when, and how? Merde.
During Leelo's bath I noticed that what I thought was a slight bit of eczema under his arm is actually a rash that is spreading, rather like chicken pox. If you're thinking, "Payback, hippie!" then you can bite me as Leelo was fully vaccinated. Seymour will likely take our boy into the doctor in the morning (six visits for our kids in less than two weeks, which may be our new record) and then if Leelo needs to stay home I have no idea how I'm going to manage that. I'll just write that it's not going to happen, because that will make it true.
One hour ago Supervisor M emailed us Leelo's functional analysis assessment, a detailed report that will be the basis for Leelo's Behavior Intervention Plan (the legal document detailing how school staff will handle Leelo's problem behaviors). The two things that really stand out for me -- aside from the amount of work Supervisor M put into the report -- were 1) How clearly and painfully inappropriate Leelo's classroom is for him in terms of staff skills and curriculum, and 2) How ill-equipped we are are, at home, to deal with his aggression. My brain is now paralyzed on this subject, so, next paragraph.
Seymour and I spent five days seriously thinking about cutting loose our home building plans and instead moving, but we decided that we could not handle a stress fireball of relocational intensity at this time. Plus our current house is a mouldering shitheap that no one would want to buy. (Why would we put any sweat or dollars into a house we're intending to demolish?) The place we thought about was sweet, though. Had its own bedrock cave off a hallway, behind an unassuming closet door.
And I am back where I started this morning, with another heaping dose of stress inertia. Can't. Move. Every weekday of late has felt like this, or like a gag reel -- except not funny. I am thinking of letting my understudy take over my role. I'd rather go hang out at the crafts services table anyway.
Technorati Tags: autism, autistic, parenting, parenting burn out, special needs parenting
Short
Short
Too much going on. Seymour and I are both experiencing stress inertia. Ffffzzzaaap! Give us a couple of days and I might be up to blogging again. Nothing to worry about, though.
Too much going on. Seymour and I are both experiencing stress inertia. Ffffzzzaaap! Give us a couple of days and I might be up to blogging again. Nothing to worry about, though.
Technorati Tags: parenting burn out
3.21.2007
Leelo Loving the Aquarium Yet Again
Leelo Loving the Aquarium Yet Again
Seymour's cool job got us into a preview of the Monterey Bay Aquarium's Wild About Otters Exhibit. Mali and Iz went nuts everywhere (Otters! Say, or squeal, no more!). Leelo liked the otters and especially the play space in the otter area, but kept going back to proven favorites like the surf waterfall underpass. Look how happy he is:
I haven't been this tired since I don't know when. Mali has been up most night snorfling and coughing, though thankfully not really crouping. But every time I park the car and don't get out immediately, I fall asleep. Not good. To bed.
Seymour's cool job got us into a preview of the Monterey Bay Aquarium's Wild About Otters Exhibit. Mali and Iz went nuts everywhere (Otters! Say, or squeal, no more!). Leelo liked the otters and especially the play space in the otter area, but kept going back to proven favorites like the surf waterfall underpass. Look how happy he is:
I haven't been this tired since I don't know when. Mali has been up most night snorfling and coughing, though thankfully not really crouping. But every time I park the car and don't get out immediately, I fall asleep. Not good. To bed.
Technorati Tags: autism, autistic, Monterey Bay Aquarium
3.19.2007
Grinding Away
Grinding Away
Another overloaded day, the kind I'll definitely be wanting to remember in five years when all my kids will be soooo much easier to handle. Right?
1:00 AM Mali. Croup. Into the steamy-showered bathroom. Seymour calls on-call nurse to confirm that we are doing everything correctly.
3:00 Mali. Croup attack again. Not bad enough for ER, but keeping her up. Shower steam again. To bed again.
4:00 Mali. Croup attack yet again. Shower steam again. To bed again, where Mali gets punchy and starts telling us, "A is for Apple! And Alligator! B is for Bed! C is for Crayon..." and so on for about ten minutes. For the finale, she said, "T is for Tiger! I'm a tiger! ROOOAR!!" Seymour says that it's a good thing we didn't take her to the ER as children ill enough to be there generally don't roar for fun.
6:30 Leelo up. Seymour takes this shift.
7:00 I struggle awake. No time for shower. Call Dr. M to see if I can bring Mali in just to make sure nothing else is going on. I can bring her in at 8:15 if Seymour can take Leelo to school. Seymour agrees.
7:30 Take over remaining morning prep from shower-bound Seymour, get kids backpack-ed and dressed and lunched and watered.
7:50 Drop Iz off at Marys's for carpool.
8:00 Leave message for Iron Gate carpool pal, asking if she can work for me tomorrow as hers is the only schedule that interlocks well with mine as we pick up each other's kids from the two cross-town schools from classes that all get out at exactly the same time.
8:15 Appointment with Dr. M, who wants us to watch Mali carefully given her history of respiratory issues, and tells us that the second night will likely be worse than the first.
9:00 Coffee with friend from the past and Ep who I begged to come along as I am socially inept and prolonged one-on-one conversations make my stomach hurt.
10:00 Boy is the friend convivial. Her child, whom I haven't seen in five years, is perplexingly sullen. This is novel to me -- my kids and my friends' kids may be quirky, but they are either friendly or do not consider adults to be their immediate concern. Perhaps she didn't get enough sleep. I let her play with Photobooth on my computer and she is placated. Her mom gives me a copy of her book! Sweet.
10:45 Wonder if Mali will fall asleep if I take the long way to Leelo's school.
11:00 Nope. Put her in the stroller and walk the perimeter of the campus. Call up my mom to see if she got my plane and hotel reservations to come visit her and my dad in two weeks. She is feeling very vulnerable because her sister told her that she shouldn't let me or my two brothers bring our kids because my dad is too immune-suppressed. Also two of my brothers are putting her in the center of their low-key bickering over who gets to stay at her house. One brother, who lives close enough to visit on a lark and has easygoing free-range children, is not being very understanding about the other, oldest, longer-staying and flying-in-from-East-Coast brother wanting both guest rooms so that his easily overstimulated and routine-dependent child can have his own space. I assure my mom that she is being put in a tough spot and is supporting everyone and doing her best job and that the second brother should just come for the weekend and get a hotel room. She gets teary and I worry that she needs more support than I gave her.
11:25 Pick up Leelo who has a big log in his underwear -- first time ever at school. Yay milestones. Clean him up in school bathroom and hope no typical school yard mates come in during the process.
12:00 PM Arrive at Leelo's Occupational Therapy appointment. During his session take Mali on walk to local drug store, where they are sold out of every single item on my list, and do not have the Rx Dr. M called in for Iz. Return to OT/school early. Mali goes at school playground like she's never seen one before. Her non-stop whoops and squeals of joy indicate that she is one very sick kid indeed.
12:40 Take Leelo to potty at school.
1:00 Arrive home. Therapist L is stuck in traffic which is good because I'd not prepped the house after last night's fun Chez Rosenberg dinner party to thank JP, Ep, and Jo for watching my kids so I could go to that autism conference.
1:30 Leave to pick up Iz at school. On way convince Cable folks that I did in fact already pay our bill (true), and try to find someone to watch Leelo for 30 minutes this afternoon after I realize that I will be in Mountain View when Leelo's afternoon therapy session at our house gets out. As I'm calling, Badger calls me to ask if she can take Iz (bonus!) and because she is so kind she agrees to go to our house to mind Leelo, too.
2:00 TLF calls while I'm en route. Things are good for her and Floyd despite the fact that they chose to move to fucking Boston, so hurrah!
2:30 Meeting with builder and one of her associates, plus me, Seymour, and C our architects' project manager (Mali, finally napping, snoozes in stroller in the corner). So glad Seymour and C were there as builder anticipates our project will cost three times our projected budget. Their emotional support keeps me from banging my head on the table.
4:00 Return home to Badger, who is minding Leelo while successfully prodding Iz to complete her homework, and monitoring Moomin's work as well. Leelo is in different clothes then when I left; I investigate and find bag of shit-smeared gear on the washer. Apparently he had a second pooping-in-underwear incident today, for Therapist L. Carpool pal cals to confirm her working my Iron Gate shift tomorrow. I AM NOT GOING TO MISS IRON GATE AND ALL ASSOCIATED CO-OP COMPLICATIONS NEXT YEAR. We all play outside except Iz who stays inside to read. Mali follows Moomin about the yard, continuously telling him, "Careful! Be careful, Moomin!" Leelo demonstrates that he knows how to get onto a swing on his own and, if you push him, pump that swing. Wow!
5:00 Badger leaves. Spend next ninety minutes feeding kids, prodding Iz, slumping over computer, attending to bills, tasks, etc.
6:30 Seymour joins us. I go downstairs for reading break but five minutes later Leelo has another blowout (which Seymour takes on, bless him) so I come back upstairs and have "reading party" with Iz and Mali on the couch.
7:00 Leelo emerges from downstairs, freshly bathed. He looks like a blue sausage in his footie jammies as I think he's gained five pounds in the three weeks since he stopped taking Fukalin. We need to work on his compulsive eating.
7:30 Wash girls.
8:30 Read Leelo bedtime stories. (Seymour reads to girls in other room.)
8:45 Read Iz bedtime stories.
9:00 Go upstairs to try to work; tired Seymour stays in bed to sleep with Mali.
9:05 Mali is screaming for me too vigorously; we don't want to further irritate her throat. Return to bed with her.
9:45 Mali is finally down for real.
10:00 More online errands and tasks.
10:30 Hello!
Again, I've forgotten a lot. Too sleepy.
Another overloaded day, the kind I'll definitely be wanting to remember in five years when all my kids will be soooo much easier to handle. Right?
1:00 AM Mali. Croup. Into the steamy-showered bathroom. Seymour calls on-call nurse to confirm that we are doing everything correctly.
3:00 Mali. Croup attack again. Not bad enough for ER, but keeping her up. Shower steam again. To bed again.
4:00 Mali. Croup attack yet again. Shower steam again. To bed again, where Mali gets punchy and starts telling us, "A is for Apple! And Alligator! B is for Bed! C is for Crayon..." and so on for about ten minutes. For the finale, she said, "T is for Tiger! I'm a tiger! ROOOAR!!" Seymour says that it's a good thing we didn't take her to the ER as children ill enough to be there generally don't roar for fun.
6:30 Leelo up. Seymour takes this shift.
7:00 I struggle awake. No time for shower. Call Dr. M to see if I can bring Mali in just to make sure nothing else is going on. I can bring her in at 8:15 if Seymour can take Leelo to school. Seymour agrees.
7:30 Take over remaining morning prep from shower-bound Seymour, get kids backpack-ed and dressed and lunched and watered.
7:50 Drop Iz off at Marys's for carpool.
8:00 Leave message for Iron Gate carpool pal, asking if she can work for me tomorrow as hers is the only schedule that interlocks well with mine as we pick up each other's kids from the two cross-town schools from classes that all get out at exactly the same time.
8:15 Appointment with Dr. M, who wants us to watch Mali carefully given her history of respiratory issues, and tells us that the second night will likely be worse than the first.
9:00 Coffee with friend from the past and Ep who I begged to come along as I am socially inept and prolonged one-on-one conversations make my stomach hurt.
10:00 Boy is the friend convivial. Her child, whom I haven't seen in five years, is perplexingly sullen. This is novel to me -- my kids and my friends' kids may be quirky, but they are either friendly or do not consider adults to be their immediate concern. Perhaps she didn't get enough sleep. I let her play with Photobooth on my computer and she is placated. Her mom gives me a copy of her book! Sweet.
10:45 Wonder if Mali will fall asleep if I take the long way to Leelo's school.
11:00 Nope. Put her in the stroller and walk the perimeter of the campus. Call up my mom to see if she got my plane and hotel reservations to come visit her and my dad in two weeks. She is feeling very vulnerable because her sister told her that she shouldn't let me or my two brothers bring our kids because my dad is too immune-suppressed. Also two of my brothers are putting her in the center of their low-key bickering over who gets to stay at her house. One brother, who lives close enough to visit on a lark and has easygoing free-range children, is not being very understanding about the other, oldest, longer-staying and flying-in-from-East-Coast brother wanting both guest rooms so that his easily overstimulated and routine-dependent child can have his own space. I assure my mom that she is being put in a tough spot and is supporting everyone and doing her best job and that the second brother should just come for the weekend and get a hotel room. She gets teary and I worry that she needs more support than I gave her.
11:25 Pick up Leelo who has a big log in his underwear -- first time ever at school. Yay milestones. Clean him up in school bathroom and hope no typical school yard mates come in during the process.
12:00 PM Arrive at Leelo's Occupational Therapy appointment. During his session take Mali on walk to local drug store, where they are sold out of every single item on my list, and do not have the Rx Dr. M called in for Iz. Return to OT/school early. Mali goes at school playground like she's never seen one before. Her non-stop whoops and squeals of joy indicate that she is one very sick kid indeed.
12:40 Take Leelo to potty at school.
1:00 Arrive home. Therapist L is stuck in traffic which is good because I'd not prepped the house after last night's fun Chez Rosenberg dinner party to thank JP, Ep, and Jo for watching my kids so I could go to that autism conference.
1:30 Leave to pick up Iz at school. On way convince Cable folks that I did in fact already pay our bill (true), and try to find someone to watch Leelo for 30 minutes this afternoon after I realize that I will be in Mountain View when Leelo's afternoon therapy session at our house gets out. As I'm calling, Badger calls me to ask if she can take Iz (bonus!) and because she is so kind she agrees to go to our house to mind Leelo, too.
2:00 TLF calls while I'm en route. Things are good for her and Floyd despite the fact that they chose to move to fucking Boston, so hurrah!
2:30 Meeting with builder and one of her associates, plus me, Seymour, and C our architects' project manager (Mali, finally napping, snoozes in stroller in the corner). So glad Seymour and C were there as builder anticipates our project will cost three times our projected budget. Their emotional support keeps me from banging my head on the table.
4:00 Return home to Badger, who is minding Leelo while successfully prodding Iz to complete her homework, and monitoring Moomin's work as well. Leelo is in different clothes then when I left; I investigate and find bag of shit-smeared gear on the washer. Apparently he had a second pooping-in-underwear incident today, for Therapist L. Carpool pal cals to confirm her working my Iron Gate shift tomorrow. I AM NOT GOING TO MISS IRON GATE AND ALL ASSOCIATED CO-OP COMPLICATIONS NEXT YEAR. We all play outside except Iz who stays inside to read. Mali follows Moomin about the yard, continuously telling him, "Careful! Be careful, Moomin!" Leelo demonstrates that he knows how to get onto a swing on his own and, if you push him, pump that swing. Wow!
5:00 Badger leaves. Spend next ninety minutes feeding kids, prodding Iz, slumping over computer, attending to bills, tasks, etc.
6:30 Seymour joins us. I go downstairs for reading break but five minutes later Leelo has another blowout (which Seymour takes on, bless him) so I come back upstairs and have "reading party" with Iz and Mali on the couch.
7:00 Leelo emerges from downstairs, freshly bathed. He looks like a blue sausage in his footie jammies as I think he's gained five pounds in the three weeks since he stopped taking Fukalin. We need to work on his compulsive eating.
7:30 Wash girls.
8:30 Read Leelo bedtime stories. (Seymour reads to girls in other room.)
8:45 Read Iz bedtime stories.
9:00 Go upstairs to try to work; tired Seymour stays in bed to sleep with Mali.
9:05 Mali is screaming for me too vigorously; we don't want to further irritate her throat. Return to bed with her.
9:45 Mali is finally down for real.
10:00 More online errands and tasks.
10:30 Hello!
Again, I've forgotten a lot. Too sleepy.
Technorati Tags: autism, parenting, parenting burn out
3.17.2007
In Which My Prejudices Against Overused or Badly Spelled Baby Names Emerge
In Which My Prejudices Against Overused or Badly Spelled Baby Names Emerge
A letter to my brother, whose wife is expecting their third child, and who is pondering names:
Dude,
Please use Flickr or YouTube so you can just send out links instead of files. I can handle the files but not everyone can. I am toooo lazy to open up multiple files from multiple emails, but will happily click on multiple links from within a single email. When your third kid gets here you will understand this better.
More overused names, as per our discussion. This doesn't mean that they're not wonderful--often classic--names, but rather that there are herds of these same-named little beasts roaming our great country:
Taylor (girls and boys)
Ryan
Alexander (there are five of them in Mali's school)
Sophia/Sofia (same school has six)
Zachary
Joshua
Olivia
Samatha
Hannah
Mia
And you are not allowed to use any names that are just a K followed by random a's e's, i's, n's, y's r's, or d's. Examples: Kadyn, Keyana, Kaylie, Kayla, Kiley, Kailey, Kira, Kara, Kydie, Kaelyn, etc. The only exceptions are Kylie because Kylie Minogue rocks, and Kianna whom I know personally and who is a really wonderful little girl with very cool parents.
And no funky spellings. Iz is at a party right now for a girl named Andee, a spelling which sets my teeth on edge. If you're going to use geographic names, don't be a dimwit and mess with the spellings as that makes parents look ignorant even if the name is a well-informed choice. It is Brittany, not Britney; Shannon, not Shannen, Shannan, or (shudder) Shannyn; India, not Indya; Savannah, not Syvana; Cheyenne, not Shayanne.
Talk to you later, Arizona boy,
=Your Sister
A letter to my brother, whose wife is expecting their third child, and who is pondering names:
Dude,
Please use Flickr or YouTube so you can just send out links instead of files. I can handle the files but not everyone can. I am toooo lazy to open up multiple files from multiple emails, but will happily click on multiple links from within a single email. When your third kid gets here you will understand this better.
More overused names, as per our discussion. This doesn't mean that they're not wonderful--often classic--names, but rather that there are herds of these same-named little beasts roaming our great country:
Taylor (girls and boys)
Ryan
Alexander (there are five of them in Mali's school)
Sophia/Sofia (same school has six)
Zachary
Joshua
Olivia
Samatha
Hannah
Mia
And you are not allowed to use any names that are just a K followed by random a's e's, i's, n's, y's r's, or d's. Examples: Kadyn, Keyana, Kaylie, Kayla, Kiley, Kailey, Kira, Kara, Kydie, Kaelyn, etc. The only exceptions are Kylie because Kylie Minogue rocks, and Kianna whom I know personally and who is a really wonderful little girl with very cool parents.
And no funky spellings. Iz is at a party right now for a girl named Andee, a spelling which sets my teeth on edge. If you're going to use geographic names, don't be a dimwit and mess with the spellings as that makes parents look ignorant even if the name is a well-informed choice. It is Brittany, not Britney; Shannon, not Shannen, Shannan, or (shudder) Shannyn; India, not Indya; Savannah, not Syvana; Cheyenne, not Shayanne.
Talk to you later, Arizona boy,
=Your Sister
Technorati Tags: baby names, parenting
3.16.2007
Don't Think Fast
Don't Think Fast
I have been feeling gross and toxic and polluted in my skin lately, and so thought that a 24-hour fast might help me feel better, and clear my fuzzy head.
Twenty-one hours later I am telling you it was a bad idea. At first it was fascinating to notice how often in the course of preparing food for three kids and frequently Seymour, I reflexively reach to pop a morsel in my mouth, too. But around 3:00 I just got woozy and incapable of forming coherent verbal sentences. Thirty minutes ago I had a small snack but still feel not great, and very slothful.
Today is Friday, my slow day. I thought it would be okay. I should have consulted Mali beforehand, because she decided that today would be her I'm Going to Stay Up All Day day. Didn't exactly help.
Anyone else have a better idea for systemic detoxification, please let me know. I'll be lying on the floor, awaiting your advice.
I have been feeling gross and toxic and polluted in my skin lately, and so thought that a 24-hour fast might help me feel better, and clear my fuzzy head.
Twenty-one hours later I am telling you it was a bad idea. At first it was fascinating to notice how often in the course of preparing food for three kids and frequently Seymour, I reflexively reach to pop a morsel in my mouth, too. But around 3:00 I just got woozy and incapable of forming coherent verbal sentences. Thirty minutes ago I had a small snack but still feel not great, and very slothful.
Today is Friday, my slow day. I thought it would be okay. I should have consulted Mali beforehand, because she decided that today would be her I'm Going to Stay Up All Day day. Didn't exactly help.
Anyone else have a better idea for systemic detoxification, please let me know. I'll be lying on the floor, awaiting your advice.
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