In an Unintentionally Spatial/Temporal Escapist Anglophilic Mood

In an Unintentionally and Temporally Escapist Anglophilic Mood

I need to start start looking for entertainment in my own country. And century. Here's what I'm currently reading:

In the bath
Robinson Crusoe by Daniel Defoe (My mom's 1945 edition)

• Author: English
• Protagonist: English
• Setting: England and abroad
• Time Frame: 17th Century

On my bedside stand
From Hell by Alan Moore and Eddie Campbell

• Author: English
• Illustrator: Australian, so a Commonwealth subject
• Cast: English
• Setting: England
• Time frame: 19th Century

In my car
Quicksilver by Neal Stephenson

• Author: American, but:
• Cast: Mostly English
• Setting: Mostly England and its colonies
• Time Frame: Late 17th/Early 18th Century

In my backpack
She by H. Rider Haggard

• Author: English
• Cast: Mostly English
• Setting: England and Africa
• Time Frame: 19th Century

At night with Iz
The Secret Garden by Frances Hodgson Burnett

• Author: English (moved to the U.S. when she was ~20)
• Cast: English
• Setting: Primarily England
• Time Frame: Early 20th Century

Shoppity Shop Shop

Shoppity Shop Shop

I detest shopping. Truly. But I also like to find people The Best Gifts Ever. How wonderful, then, that my very favorite online store, the one that straddles that lickety-split yet thoughtful gifting sweet spot, the one that saved my bloated ass when I got stuck on bedrest for two months while pregnant with Iz during the entire 1998 holiday shopping season, has relaunched!

Why should you shop at Violet.com? Because:

1. They have the tidiest assortment of unique, intuitively organized, lovely gifts you'll ever find online. In all price ranges. (Think Red Enve1ope, but without the suckage.) The selection will expand as the holidays approach.
2. It is a local and woman-run business.
3. They really do have exquisite taste. Do you remember Microserfs' first chapter, the one in which the narrator couldn't believe his eyes upon meeting techheads who dressed well and dwelled chicly? Douglas Coupland's thin literary veil was covering Violet's founder and her partner.

Go. Shop. Now. And please spread the word. I want Violet.com to be around forever. And please know that my only association with the company is my dependency.

Technorati Tags: shopping

Organic Chemistry

Organic Chemistry

I would love to have a short conversation, voice or email, with someone with a working knowledge of organic chemistry. Any victims? Know anyone? Thanks in advance.

Pushmi-Pullyu

Pushmi-Pullyu

I love this picture. Leelo's sisters pulled/pushed him all around the yard, spontaneously, after seeing him sitting in his wagon, patiently waiting for *someone* to come take him for a ride. Sweet girls. The three of them make my heart go clink-a-dink.

Technorati Tags: autism, autism blog, autism siblings, autistic

Positively Poopful

Positively Poopful

Leelo is doing beautifully on his potty training; many bountiful BMs, almost no pee accidents, waking up dry most mornings and holding his pee until he gets to the potty, almost no middle-of-the-night poops, nice soft non-constipated looking movements (sorry to be so frank, but I spend a good part of my day watching closely to see what, and how much, comes out, as Leelo is an obsessive toilet-flusher and everything he produces is gone almost instantly), occasional trots down the hall towards the potty when it's time to go. I think, as does Supervisor M, that Leelo is having a lot of success. He might always be a prompted or a schedule-trained boy, but that is just fine, and ever so much more preferable to daily changing of a very big boy's poop-filled pulllup.

He will be seven in about two months. A professional who is very well known and who will remain nameless but who in hindsight gave us some of the most negative feedback we've ever heard about Leelo (said in such a cheerful, professional, reassuring voice that we actually thanked him profusely) told us that if we didn't get Leelo potty trained by the time he was six, it would be almost impossible.

To this person, I say: nyah nyah nyah. To my son, I say: go Leelo go!

Technorati Tags: autism, autism blog, autistic, potty training

Leelo Cheat Sheet

Leelo Cheat Sheet

Leelo starts his new school in three days. The school is 18.2 miles away from our home. I hate hate hate the idea of him being so far away from me during the day, but as it is the best possible available option for him at the moment, I will need to get used to it.

I have not yet met the long-term sub who will start out as his teacher, but have been given permission to go down to the school tomorrow morning to ambush chat with her. I will bring a CD of ambient music and lotion for limb massages as per Supervisor M's request. I will bring photos of our sweet boy, and the boy himself. I will cross my fingers that this is a woman with an intuitive understanding of autism, as well as the patience and resilience to look beyond our boy's occasional outbursts and into his brain so she can help him learn. I will bring this cheat sheet to help her help him:

LEELO ROSENBERG CHEAT SHEET

PERSONALITY AND PREFERENCES

• Leelo is a sweet six-year-old boy who laughs easily, especially when tickled.
• He loves music, "scatting" and having people imitate him, stories with repetitive rhymes, "dancing," paging through books, simple puzzles, swimming, straws, and grabbing peoples' elbows.
• We call him "The Cobra" as he can very quickly steal other peoples' food or straws.
• He only likes to eat: PB&J sandwiches, croissants, pancakes, fruit smoothies, cheerios, Burger King french fries, and bananas. He enjoys Pirate Booty and Goldfish crackers but they give him indigestion except in limited quantities. We try to limit his sugar intake as it is overstimulating.
• Leelo has a short attention span, but can attend to preferred tasks for a few minutes. We have tried ADHD meds in the past but the negatives (mainly aggression) far outweighed the positives.

LANGUAGE

• Leelo has good receptive language for simple instructions, especially those regarding objects (e.g., "Pick up your clothes and put them in the bin"). He has limited comprehension of non-concrete topics.
• Leelo's expressive language is mostly limited to requests and simple concrete descriptions/responses (e.g., "The circle is blue.").

ACADEMICS

• Leelo knows letters, numbers, shapes, colors, etc. He can read his first and last name. He can write "Leelo." He is good at sorting and categorization. He enjoys doing simple puzzles. Specific information will come from his home program supervisor, M.

SELF CARE

• Leelo is (mostly) schedule potty-trained, on 45 - 60 minute intervals. He needs to be told to go, and accompanied to, the toilet, and may need some prompting for individual tasks (e.g., "Leelo, pull up pants"). However he can use the toilet, manage his clothes, and wash his hands independently. He is unlikely to produce anything other than urine at school.

MOTOR SKILLS

• Leelo does not yet have the fine-motor skills to manage zippers, buttons, etc. However he can hold a crayon/pencil and write his name.
• Leelo has very good gross motor skills. He is good at climbing, running, swimming, and jumping, and has excellent balance. He can ride a tricycle and a scooter. His upper body strength is not as developed as his lower, and so he needs to be encouraged to hang from bars/trapezes, etc.

CONSIDERATIONS

• Transitions can be difficult. Both verbal and visual cues/reminders are helpful.
• Leelo can lash out, hitting, pinching, or scratching peoples' arms, when he is upset. He also enjoys getting a big reaction from these actions. Usually the reason is clear in hindsight. He can usually be reminded to tap shoulders (say "Leelo, tap tap") and then prompted to ask for what he wants afterwards ("I want..."). Trying to ignore his outbursts and then redirecting him can also be helpful.
• Leelo is not currently taking any medications except Claritin for seasonal allergies.

Technorati Tags: autism, autism blog, autistic

I Have the Higher Ground!

I Have the Higher Ground!

I wish this phrase were part of Leelo's repertoire. It is a good warning for both lapsed Jedi knights and parents of occasionally violent autistic children. But now I know not to approach Leelo from below when he is sitting on the stairs to ask why he is upset -- I needed both my hands to grab the handrails and keep from being pitched backwards off the stairs, and so left my head/ears/face completely unprotected. Stupid of me. At least he managed to keep most of the gouges inside my ears, as he was using them for handles.

He was so sweet all day until then; we had just spent a wonderful long time playing sound and facial expression imitation games, and he had even just had a successful BM in the pot. I still don't know why he was so mad; it may be because he got his shirt wet while washing his hands. Yet another *sigh.* And another reminder to be more careful about paying attention to his mood and body language. I will get the hang of this eternal vigilance thing eventually. I am definitely getting better at staying silent while being assaulted -- any reaction just reinforces his bad mood and prolongs the incidents, and increases the likelihood of his then turning on anyone else in the vicinity. I don't want him to be violent at all, but since that's not currently a reality, the second best choice is making sure he only assaults me.

Technorati Tags: autism, autism blog, autistic

Mmm, Kitten

Mmm, Kitten

Everyone's asleep and I have a warm fuzzy kitten purring atop my chest. Yay.



Two nights ago Ep and Jo and I took our big kids to see Hairspray. Who knew that Cyclops could dance and sing so well? It is an electrifying movie with really talented people singing and dancing their asses off. I can understand why a person might have some technical quibbles with the staging or the movie's history but think that anyone who doesn't enjoy it on a visceral level is a constipated jerkwad. I also think that Elijah Kelley has the potential to be a manly-dancer successor to almost-same-last-named Gene.

Yesterday I took Iz and Mali and Iz's friend Emi to The Exploratorium. Very fun. My favorite part, besides everything, was watching an obviously autistic little boy whose parents let him happily stim like mad with the mallets inside the xylophone enclosure, running back and forth and wiggling them next to his ears ecstatically.

On the way we visited Seymour at work so he could show off his girls. Got to have a nice chat with one of the producers who is researching a story on 2nd Lyfe. I didn't realize there was an Aspergers/Autism-only Island, Brigadoon. Wow. They take field trips to other islands. How cool to talk to an adult about interesting topics in an almost academic way.

Last night got some very bad news about a tragedy in a friend's family. Very sad news. Haven't been able to function much since.

Leelo didn't feel much like pooping yesterday. That made him pretty grumpy. He wouldn't go until he had his nighttime pullup on. He had an accident today too. We have been busier this week than during the past two and it is not helping; he needs lots of calm downtime to relax and do his thing. Where to find it, I don't know. He was not interested in sitting on the potty much at all, when I tried to encourage him with the usual bribes (YouTube, etc.) he got irate and pinched and scratched and hit. I thought I had cut his nails short enough but the scratches all over my face and arms make me think I should try another pass.

This morning I think he was still uncomfortable. Also he didn't like being alone with his mom and sisters all morning (school is ramping up and his team is in schedule flux). Mali still won't sleep until 10 - 11 PM and I think this makes her grumpy and cry easily about things like not getting to sit on the stool she prefers. Which sets Leelo off, so he hits her and she cries harder and you can imagine the escalation.

I tried giving him some decongestant as he said his ears hurt. Didn't seem to help. I am not sure what he needed; usually I can tell in retrospect but this time he was just angry. One time I eventually figured out that my being sad and having sad expressions was the trigger but I wish I'd been quicker as it is difficult to pretend to be happy when someone has grabbed your nose using their nails for anchors and used said nose as a handle to bash your head against the wall.

Iz had her last Aikido session of the summer today; when Leelo and Mali and I came in to pick her up Leelo was very loud/screechy and again violent with me. For now she is blowing it off/not letting his behavior bother her but it's going to start mattering to her soon and/or I'm going to have to either arrange Leelo's schedule so he's not with me for pickup or have her stop going. Not feasible currently.

Supervisor M came over and had some really great thoughts about how to keep Therapist L in Leelo's life, also about how to approach the next few weeks in Leelo's new school system. I asked the local SNK board if anyone had heard of Leelo's new teacher but received no reply. But I am still feeling very positive, very hopeful that Leelo is going to be at a school where all the teachers and staff "get" him. That has never happened before.

Babysitter A, who has been with us since Mali was three months old, might need to be leaving us. I cannot even reply to that email at the moment.

I think about all my friends or web dopplegangers who do so much more than I do with more stress and fewer resources; all I can say is that I am not like you. I don't get how to be like you. I wish I did. Sorry.

Technorati Tags: autism, autism blog, autistic

Today I Wish I Was From...

Today I Wish I Was From...

That small island of stiff upper lips where everyone carries on cheerfully or stonily but with wisecracks and no breakdowns no matter what kind of cursed hellfire rains down from above. I keep thinking about how Harry Potter never underwent counseling to deal with his life's ongoing stream of tragedies any one of which would have derailed an American kid into indefinite weekly therapy sessions. A good or a bad thing? All I know is that I am not feeling particularly strong at the moment but that I also don't trust therapists, am congenitally incapable of talking through anything that means anything to me, and don't have the time to see one anyhow. However it is very nice to have friends and a husband who pat my shoulders sympathetically while knowing that I'm not likely to articulate all the reasons why I'm upset.

Hi Supervisor M

Hi Supervisor M,

Had a chat with Jay at County this morning about getting Leelo set up for class next Wed. It looks like we won't be able to squeak in an IEP before then, but we will get one within 30 days. However we can certainly set up a meeting with his teacher before then. (They do not yet have the permanent teacher but have a "good" sub in place, and the aides are all veterans.) My friend has monthly meetings with her child's teachers and that seems like a good model to me; please let me know what you think.

In the mean time it would be a good idea to get a one page, ten (or so) point "Leelo Cheat Sheet" for the staff. I can do this if you'd be willing to review. Please let me know.

Also, and very very sadly, Therapist L's [she who has supported Leelo for four years] schedule does not at all work with Leelo's new schedule; the late afternoons (which is all Leelo will have available) have always belonged to another family. She may be able to keep one Wednesday 1:30 - 3:30 shift as Leelo gets out at 12:30 those days. Sigh. [A more accurate sound effect would be *hoarse sobbing.*]

I have not yet talked to Therapist Y, but Rosie is definitely available to cover late afternoon shifts, if you think this is a good idea. It certainly seems like a good idea from the perspective that she is already a school district employee, and that she is so proactive with and good with Leelo. Therapist L will be coming this Wednesday to give Rosie some training seeing as no matter what happens with Leelo's home program, Rosie has taken over Babysitter K's Thursday session and it would be nice for R to have more skills for playing/working with Leelo then.

Thanks,

-Squid

Other breaking news:

• Leelo pooped in the potty at the library this afternoon. We may not be completely and indefinitely housebound during the second half of the day!
• Our pool has a huge, expensive-looking leak that is not covered by our home warranty. No swimming until further notice. This is bad bad bad bad bad if your name is Leelo or Leelo's Mom.
• Mali seems to be warming to the concept of peeing in the potty. Getting about one direct hit per day. Of which she is cognizant. Progress.
• Iz spent yesterday morning on a fossil-finding hike with her dad and one of the primary paleontologists from the Ca1 Academy. Hate them both.
• Seymour's party was fun. But I am finding that I cannot fully enjoy a family bash in which my son cannot participate, especially when the party is in his own home. Until or unless he starts tolerating crowds and noise better, we will socialize on a smaller scale.

Technorati Tags: autism, autism blog, autistic

Happy Birthday Seymour

Happy Birthday Seymour

Today is the man's 38th. Shocking. He looks fantastic. I feel very lucky to have attached myself, remora-like, to a man who is obviously going to get only more handsome with age; to a Sean Connery rather than a Robert Redford.

I am a bit busy preparing for tomorrow's birthday party, which is of course at our house and as per Seymour's request will feature a Lebanese buffet but unfortunately no live music as I couldn't get it together. And I'm not really sure I'll get it together by tomorrow, either, and so instead of trying to entertain you myself will leave you with last week's extremely amusing restaurant review of San Francisco's Old Clam House by Iz's beloved Godfather M.