Oh Yeah, This Is Why I Switched to Decaf

It is almost 11 P.M. Mali is still up. Not sad, fussy awake--no. Loud, alert, playful awake. All smiles and happiness unless I put her down.

For the record, Iz is still awake, as well. She had a hard time going to sleep, so I told her she could go in my bed and read by my reading lamp. I figured she'd be asleep within 15 minutes. That was two hours and two books ago.

This Is Not My Beautiful House

There is a house on my street for sale. For $2,149,000. Pick yourself up off of the floor and read that last sentence. It is not a typo.

For the record, such a price is atypical of our otherwise overlooked, grubby street. (Struggling do-gooders like Jerk Hinkey live here, for heaven's sake.) The marketed home is monstrous (5 bed /4 bath) and has a wine cellar, true. But, like every other house on our street except our own, it has 1) NO parking and 2) is on an extremely steep slope. Who would pay so much money for such an inconvenient house? I guess we'll find out.

Nosy people, email me and I'll send you the slide show.

On another street note, that slender stand of bamboo on that other improbably steep slope at the blind intersection of our one-lane street and the incredibly busy Miralago is actually...a "buildable" lot. Which has been cleared and I'm guessing will be built on, imminently. I am once again amazed by the beaver-like ingenuity of people in my neighborhood when it comes to figuring out how to shoehorn in and prop up yet another house.

Fretting About Mali

Mali has her MYND Institute appointment on Tuesday.

For the most part, I feel good about her. She is a different baby these past two weeks, vocalizing with consonants when she's upset and increasingly when she just feels like it; sitting up unsupported in my lap for a good few seconds before falling over; really exploring the five or six hundred bells and manipulatives on her overstimulator, er, exersaucer; keeping most of her food in her mouth when she eats; sipping and actually swallowing water from my an open cup without spilling; checking out everything in the whole world with interest. And her eyes, sadly, look like they're about to change. Instead of bright blue, they appear to be the slate blue that Leelo's turned at this same age, right before they went hazel.

Even with all the amazingness she's demonstrating, I can't help but worry about her. She's starting to make jerky movements with her arms. It could be that this is the first step towards total control of said limbs, or it could be the beginning of the type of spastic movements I noticed in Leelo when he was an infant but was told to not worry about. She appears to be very social, but is so only from non-confrontational distances. She doesn't like to look me in the eyes if I have her in my lap. Unless it's her choice. She keeps her left hand clenched tight an awful lot. She is sitting up without assuming the tripod position first--a stiff baby sign that is also a pre-autism sign?

It is a damn good thing that I have her signed up for those MYND evaluations. Otherwise I'd fret myself into a corner.

Further information on infant siblings of autistic children:

Autism Treatment Could Begin Earlier

Five Early Signs of Autism

Autism: Recognising the Signs in Young Children

Legal Bipolarity

I haven't allowed myself caffeine in a while. Months and months. Then, last Saturday, Seymour took my request for a coffee literally, instead of reading my mind and getting me a decaf.

I was talking to Jo when the caffeine hit my bloodstream, and all of the sudden I was yammering away at 120 MPH about the hypocrisy of Jesus-co-opting Christians who lead the least Christ-like, least humanitarian lives possible; about coming to terms with the disconnect between our communist hearts and our privileged lives; about whether or not Iz should watch a non-coddling NOVA documentary about population trends and how it sucks to be a woman in so much of the world; about whether we can introduce our children to reality without breaking their hearts and yanking the rug of their childhoods out from under them; about how Leelo is doing and what we think is working and how autism is more than likely several different conditions with similar symptoms manifestations, about this that and five thousand other things.

It was only later that I realized what must have happened, called Seymour, and verified my suspicions. It wasn't me, it was the caffeine.

Which is a bummer, and, along with the Leelo-management, Iz-wrestling, and Mali-care, explains a bit of why I've done fuck-all with my life lately. I've been mania-free. Which means I've also not had the corresponding depression troughs like those that hit so hard right around the time I got knocked up with Mali and haven't experienced since. And that's a good thing, right?

I had another coffee this morning, and then a double this afternoon. I felt like I had to as we're having a BBQ at our place tomorrow and--even though it's Memorial Day weekend and I thought a lot of people would be out of town--almost everyone we invited is coming. Which is good albeit overwhelming when one's home is as messy as mine. Forty-five very welcome people, including kids. I had to have that double-dose of rocket fuel to prep and clean, right? I suspect this is how many addictions are justified. And how I'm typing so fast.

Six Months

That was the milestone Mali hit two days ago. How possible? Who knows. We're still not entirely sure how she got here.

We celebrated with a family trip to the Aquarium. Where Leelo was a complete fucking nutter and made Seymour, already very stressed out from a shitty times three situation at work, somewhat forlorn about the future of family outings with the boy. I think Leelo was just having an off day. Though I was sad that he didn't respond to the fish like he used to, and instead preferred to run as far and fast as he could.

Iz had a fantastic time, poking everything she was allowed to poke, soaking up info, seeing real anchovies, having Daddy/daughter science geek fun, accosting everyone she heard speaking Spanish and butting into their conversations. Seymour says her showboating tendencies are genetically hardwired and come straight from him.

Mali thought all the pretty fish were gawk-worthy.

I was inspired by the visit to resume Leelo's cod liver oil supplements as of this morning. I'm not going to tell any of his therapists, and see if they tell us of any noticeable improvements in eye contact.

Reason 1,327 Not to Work at a Co-op Preschool

You will not be obligated to clean up the vomit of children who are not yours.

Good Thing Mali Has Enough Clothes for Four Babies

I have always been amazed when people keep getting pregnant and having babies after my own arrive. The world outside my navelsphere is a strange, unpredictable place.

Regardless, I am pleased as rum punch that Iz's godmother Stacy is 17 weeks along with TWINS, and that a reader who will remain nameless unless she outs herself but who used to sit next to me in 9th grade geometry is 13 weeks along!

(No worries, Chasmyn, your box of baby goods and Pooh books has long been earmarked for your little guy, and will be coming within the next couple of weeks.)

The rest of you had better try to roll two X's. I don't want to have to scatter Mali's glam girly wardrobe bits to babies who won't send back pictures.

You Say Potato

However you pronounce my favorite tuber, there is no doubt that Mali digs it. Today, her official second day featuring solid foods, she ate almost half of a (teeny) jar of sweet potato goo in one sitting.

I had forgotten that this food's appearance remains unaltered after six hours traveling through an infant digestive tract. Baby care details such as this were wiped from my brain after Leelo was done with them--I thought I'd never need to reference them again. I also forgot that one is supposed to use a soft rubbery-tipped baby spoon for the first few months. Thankfully someone, probably JP, had left one at our house.

Leelo himself is doing well, though he spent a good portion of the day trying to eat playdoh. I think the issue is that he keeps trying to make a "birthday cake" with it, and is playing the scene out to its logical conclusion. Can't wait to see what his next diaper looks like.

I am anticipating a fun but trying week with Leelo, as Therapist L will be off for one week starting the day after tomorrow, and Therapist S is taking off Friday. Since I work at Iron Gate on Wednesdays, this means that almost all of my upcoming "free time" will be spent with both Leelo and Mali. (Thursday we are playing hooky as a family and going to the Aquarium.) Babysitter A is on reduced hours this week, too. Fun! And I have my last Iron Gate meeting tomorrow night, and Iz's Open House Thursday, grouch grouch grouch.

Seymour came up with the excellent idea of giving Iz an alter ego, Zizi. Excellent in that this approach works for us and her, and if she ends up with a split personality, we'll know why. Using Zizi as a scapegoat gives her an important out, as she will do just about anything to avoid taking blame. Now that Zizi's on the scene, and we ask her how a certain mess might possibly have happened, she doesn't mind telling us that Zizi did it. She also doesn't (usually) mind cleaning up after her evil twin. Without Zizi, we would be running into a screaming brick wall of denial.

She is still having a rough time going to bed at night. She says it's not her fault, that it's just her personality. If she didn't share a room with Leelo, then I would get her a reading lamp so she could read herself to bed as I have done almost every night of my life.

I am enjoying watching her go at origami. She has been inspired by her idol Eliz. Much to my amazement, Iz has been doing so completely independently, by following what are to me impenetrable book instructions. The more complex figures are frustrating to her, though, so Eliz has agreed to an origami playdate in two days (bless Jo's girl).

To bed. Tomorrow is going to be my only day with (relative) free time until Saturday, so I'd best get some rest, otherwise I will be too tired to get all that work done.

Solids!

Today was Mali's first formal solids feeding. She was enthusiastic at first, but--most likely because of already having had a few morsels of delicious sweet potato--was ultimately unimpressed by bland rice cereal. Iz had fun feeding her, though.

Iz's own first feeding was funny. She was much younger, under five months, and was so excited that she kept grabbing the spoon and trying to shove it into her mouth. Leelo's was at around five months. He didn't like the rice cereal, continued to be unimpressed by most baby foods, and is still leery of all but five or so edible items.

Mali is starting to look at us for reassurance, to check in with us when something happens near her. I've read that this is something many children later diagnosed as autistic do not do during their first birthday party, but can't remember whether it was behavior they'd lost or never developed. I need to review Leelo's videos some more and see if he ever did this between ages 6 and 12 months.

To bed. I've been roped into an Esperanza silent auction planning meeting by Iz's friend Violet's very organized and enthusiast mother (more on how very much I am intimidated by her later), and so must get my brain function sleep.

If We Had to Do It All Over Again

I recently received a query from a person who asked me how we would approach Leelo's treatment if we had to do it all over again. I am a lazy typist, so no harm in recycling my answer, I hope:

-----------

Hi,


My opinion has always been that there's no harm in trying the GFCF diet. It is a pain in the ass for parents, and transitioning to the more limited diet can be very much not-fun. I really do think that some kids are helped by this diet, and until we have a test that can tell us which kids those are, it's worth a shot. If you have any history of dairy or wheat allergies in your family, consider a trial run (Keryn Serouzi's Unrave1ing the Mystery of Auti5m book is a good, though bombastic, read on the subject).

Leelo is one of the kids who had far too many antibiotics as an infant/toddler. I think they really did put his gut biota out of whack. In his case, a limited sugar, whole grains diet helps a lot and makes sense. I think that the antifungals (temporary), probiotics, and digestive enzymes (ongoing) have also made a difference in his behavior and digestive health. If your child gets the "crazies," then I would see if limiting sugar intake makes any difference.

I really do think the B12 shots have made a difference for Leelo, most likely because it is so important for brain function and he doesn't get it throught his diet (he is practically a vegan, and absolutely won't touch meat).

As far as the other supplements go, in our case they are mostly not helpful. We are going to transition back to only those that plug the nutrition holes in his diet (multivitamins, calcium, cod liver oil, B12, probiotics, digestive enzymes). This doesn't mean that the DAN supplements are not helpful for other kids. But they don't help Leelo.

So, if I had to do it all over again, I would probably:

1) Set up an ABA program
2) Arrange for Speech and Occupational therapy
3) Review his diet for any deficiencies related to brain function (B12, cod liver oil)
4) Get on an email board of parents in similar circumstances
5) Try the GFCF diet

If, after all this, I saw no progress, then I would thoroughly screen and then arrange to see a DAN doctor who could guide us through the supplement circus.

Good luck to you,

=Squid

Tossing Out a Grenade

Seymour has recently declared himself "done" with all the biomed/DAN! gobbledygook. He is not alone.

I'm of a wavering position, personally; I think that there is merit in the yeast eradication treatmens, the B12, and I'm certain that the biomed approach is even more useful for kids other than Leelo.

Anyhow. Read the link above and let's discuss!