Autism, ADHD, Medication, and Bedside Manner

Autism, ADHD, Medication, and Bedside Manner

This is a revised version of a letter I wrote to a parent who is considering a specific doctor to consult on medications to help her child's problem behaviors.

We had (in hindsight) a negative experience with Dr. X. While he is extremely knowledgeable, genial, and responsive, he did not give us the evaluation we had asked for. We came in for a meds/ADHD evaluation; he gave us an autism evaluation (which we already had from Stanford/GGRC/UC Davis), told us our son was probably mentally retarded, told us that if we didn't potty train him by the time he was six it was unlikely to happen, and that, despite my son's obvious hyperactivity, he didn't recommend medicating him. I spent a long time feeling hopeless after seeing Dr. X.

Thankfully my son's amazing, wonderful home therapy program supervisor had practical rather than clinical experience and helped me regain my optimism -- now my newly seven-year-old son is almost fully potty trained (we flew to Las Vegas and back for Thanksgiving; not one accident during the entire week, even on the plane, even at night), and is learning to read via the Edmark system with a ferocity that is surprising even his veteran therapists.

The one thing I would laud Dr. X for is his caution regarding medications. He recommended that we explore every possible other cause of my son's hyperactivity before medicating him. We thought we had done that and eventually ended up going to see pediatric neurologist Dr. Y. She did think our son might have ADHD, and helped us explore a variety of medications: Adderall, Adderall XR, Focalin, Focalin XR. Each time he tried a new medication, we would have a two- to three-week honeymoon period of wonderful behavior, then he would plunge into a prolonged dark awful period of intense aggression. Our home life was horrible.

Then I talked with his regular pediatrician, Dr. Z. She said that children who present with ADHD symptoms often have undiagnosed seasonal allergies that make them miserable and lead to behaviors that mimic ADHD. We started my son on a daily dose of Claritin, and he has been a completely different child ever since.

What worked for my son won't necessarily work for every child, but I always feel that by sharing our experiences we special needs parents can help each other avoid reinventing the wheel.

Technorati Tags: autism, autistic, medication, ADHD

Letter Promoting the Can I Sit With You? Book

Letter Promoting the Can I Sit With You? Book

If you'd like to tell your friends and family to BUY BUY BUY about the Can I Sit With You? book, feel free to use the following letter:

Hi Folks,

Looking for that perfect holiday gift, the one that will both please its recipient and make its giver feel good?

Can I Sit With You? is a book co-edited by special needs parents Shannon Des Roches Rosa and Jennifer Byde Myers. It is a collection of stories about schoolyard social experiences, both good and bad. All proceeds from the sale of Can I Sit With You? go directly to SEPTAR, the fledgling Special Education PTA of Redwood City (www.septar.org).

These beautifully written, heartfelt tales should speak to anyone who has ever struggled to fit in with the other kids at school, wondered about feeling different, or felt like no one could possibly understand what they're going through. We hope they will inspire elementary and middle school students, or at the very least temper their bewilderment as they grapple with issues such as popularity, making friends, puberty, sexual orientation, religion, race, special needs siblings, and bullying.

The stories are told from the point of view of the former students, in their own words. We did not censor the profanities a former eight-year-old screamed at the boys who beat up her special needs brother. There is no preaching or patronizing. As one reviewer wrote, "Perhaps the most important lesson in all of [the stories] is that the writers all survived and grew up to have something to say, and a place to say it."

We think Can I Sit With You? is a wonderful book. And we would be so grateful for your support. You can purchase the book and have it shipped to you or your friends directly at:

http://www.lulu.com/content/1466612

Happy Holidays,

Shannon and Jennifer

P.S. Can I Sit With You? is also an ongoing blog project. You can discuss any of the stories in the book, read new stories, and submit your own stories at www.CanISitWithYou.org / ciswysubmissions@gmail.com.

OMFG

OMFG

Jennyalice and I can hardly believe it, but Can I Sit With You? is a real live book!



We would be grateful if you would order (and tell your friends to order) copies for everyone on your holiday shopping list. The direct URL for purchase is:

http://www.lulu.com/content/1466612

Our experience has been that lulu.com prints and ships fairly quickly. Here is their information on holiday ordering deadlines:

http://www.lulu.com/en/help/shipping_faq#holiday_deadlines

We will start doing official promoting (press releases, website relaunch) on Thursday 11/29. We are also starting to plan Bay Area book readings and book release parties, so keep watching this space for more information (and watch the Can I Sit With You? blog for more stories).

I would really like to thank everyone who reads this blog for inspiring me to think that this project could be possible in the first place. You are the ones who got Leelo and his friends the ramp for the Deadwood City School District OT room. You are the ones who rallied behind my friend Amy and sent her on the Sojourn Project. Without my experience and faith that The Blogosphere Would Provide, I would never have dared to ask someone as formidable as Jennyalice to take on such a potentially foolhardy project with me.

Thank you,

Squid

Miss Mali Jane Rosenberg Turns Three!

Miss Mali Jane Rosenberg Turns Three!

To think that, four years ago, I was blithely yelling "NOT IN THIS LIFETIME" at anyone who asked if we were having more kids.

I am so grateful that we won the Surprise Baby lottery. Mali is the cutest, funniest, sweetest child I know.


Mali this morning, right after thanking me for wishing her Happy Birthday.


Mali last night, on her last day being two, thinking about tomorrow being the day people would sing her Happy Birthday.


Mali at Leelo's birthday party three weeks ago, happy just to be around people who are about to sing Happy Birthday to her brother.

I think we'll keep her.

(All done maudlin.)

Cataloging

Cataloging

Using an hour of free time not to holiday shop or to do good deeds or to spend time with my kids or even drink coffee or get some exercise. No. I am spending my free time declining the two-foot stack of catalogs that piled up during the CISWY crunch period, via catalogchoice.org. Takes time, but ultimately saves everyone time and money and resources.

Re: resources, did you see the sea of roofs in yesterday's Las Vegas photo? Guess how many of those roofs had solar panels on them? Exactly ONE. Sheesh. This disappoints me not just because of the wasted and needlessly rerouted energy, but FUCK, people, where else could so much energy be so free? A/C, it cost money money money. Solar would pay for itself yesterday. Durrrrrrrr.

Fucking Vegas.

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BTW, Seymour wrote a nifty short entry for Can I Sit With You? Anyone who has ever wondered why they were supposed to like the same music as everyone else will identify. (I still can't understand why anyone listened to Nu Shooz.)

And I loved the Immigrant Kids entry from two days ago, as it treats Can I Sit With You? quite literally.

I Already Blew NaBloPoMo, but Whatever

I Already Blew NaBloPoMo, but Whatever



Vegas, it is not so bad. If you're staying in a house with a dramatic view of Red Rock Canyon on one side and a sparkly view of The Strip on the other, and this is as close as you ever get to said Strip (in background; very nice to look at from afar, at night). If I wanted to lose five hours of my life to traffic, parking, and crowds, I can do that right here during baseball season or at Fisherman's Wharf.

Fucking Vegas.

Cool house, though. Leelo loved his grandparents' pool.

Thankful: Fantastic Book Review for CISWY

Thankful: Fantastic Book Review for CISWY

I am thankful for many things and people today, but the thing that brought me out of an extreme grouch slump after Leelo got up at 4:30 AM and we spent the earliest hours of the morning cruising and gawking at The Strip was a wonderful, thoughtful, and I swear to God unsolicited review of Can I Sit With You? on lulu.com:

...For any adult who wants to be allied with a child (and even normal kids get the blues), this kind of book may be just the thing to open up discussion of what's happening to that child. It may comfort just because of its honesty and its assurance that other children have felt and survived these things, or it could be used to foster problem-solving to help a child cope with the pitfalls and hazards of even the most normal school experience. It could also help kids who don't have problems (or who are the problems) to see the situation from the point of view of those who are struggling, and open up the way for conversations about compassion and the different experiences of other people.

Entire review here.

Happy Thanksgiving, all.

Technorati Tags: Can I Sit With You?

Pinching Self

Pinching Self

We've published the Can I Sit With You? book.

Woo, whew, and whoop-dee-doo all at once.

However, the incredibly talented Jennyalice (and I) are new at this whole "publishing our own book" thing, and need a week to review a hard copy before unleashing our triumph upon the world and forcing everyone we've ever met to buy one as a holiday gift.

If you just can't wait and would like to buy a review copy, please do! We're fairly certain that it looks the way we think it does. But we'll be absolutely certain in a few days.

In the mean time, I'm off to Vegas in couple of hours. Seymour is itching to check out the mountain bike trails in Red Rock Canyon. Mali is much better, so all three kids are itching to hop in their grandparents' new pool. I am itching to sleep, but will instead settle for accepting every single glass of wine offered to me by my generous in-laws.

If you haven't already, go tell Jennyalice congratulations.

Bulleted List Version

Bulleted List Version

One CD has been in our car's six-disc changer since the van first joined our family four years ago: Leelo's Fourth Birthday Mix. Never once in three years has our boy tired of hearing his favorite songs from The Nightmare Before Christmas, Laurie Berkner, etc.

Tonight, however, for the first time I've ever witnessed, he did all the movements to "Nod Your Head" and "Ram Sam Sam." In the recorded songs' tempos, not at the slightly slower Mommy-sung clip. Impressive!

Funny thing is, he can't sing the songs and do the movements. Even when he sings with me, he is watching my mouth so intensely to ensure that I sing the right words that it is hard for him to focus on the movements. But when the pressure is off, he flies. SMRT boy. Now if we could get him to keep up the running for the potty when he needs to go, and stop with the shitting his pants to get Mommy's attention, we'd really be set.

In other news:

Iz and Mali are off school this week.

Mali has a really horrible respiratory infection. My "Hmmm, this cough sounds really bad" was greeted by the pediatrician with a "Yes, DUH," an in-office breathing treatment, Prednisone, and more Albuterol for her inhaler. If she has another bad night, she and I might not join the rest of our crew on tomorrow's Thanksgiving flight to Las Vegas.

Even when sick, Mali is hilarious. She woke up about every twenty minutes last night (clever Seymour opted to sleep in the guest room downstairs so as to avoid all the girl-children who had colonized our bed) to make elaborate requests with absolutely crisp diction: "Mommy, could you please go downstairs and get me some cold water from the refrigerator?" "I would like to put my hand right here on your neck, please."

Iz's language precision continues to amuse as well: "Converse high tops aren't made in the United States anymore? I guess everything is outsourced to China, these days." "Mommy, I mean which Webkins smelly stick would you choose if you absolutely had to! It's a *theoretical* question!"

I dyed my hair fuchsia on Saturday. Forgot to buy more orange dye, had fuchsia on hand. But unlike the orange, the fuchsia doesn't glow under black lights. No more after-hours go go dancing dollars for me.

It is really funny that Jennyalice and I think we have time to work on projects when our lives are already so fucking crazy that they drive us to drink distraction almost daily. But, somehow, we succeed. Even though I could go on editing indefinitely. (I am burying those statements here because I will crow when the succeeding becomes formally tangible.)

It is amazing to hang out with someone like Jenijen and witness how people can be even busier than me and yet find time for life-balancing activities such as exercise and creative endeavors. Plus her family is amazing. You, go away. They are our friends. OURS! Plus our partners geek out so well together.

It is so wonderfully sweet of Seymour to have pulled down kid- and kitchen duty for the last gnarly stretch of Can I Sit With You fine tuning and eating up every last second of my free time. Especially since he did so proactively and without one single complaint.

I tired. Good night.

Can I Sit With You? on DeviantART

Can I Sit With You? on DeviantART

I'd like to congratulate Lea Hernandez: her Can I Sit With You? cover art has been named one of today's Daily Deviations at deviantART.com!

Aren't you inspired? Please check out our Mission Statement and send us a story and buy our book when it comes out!

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My current personal feelings are bouncing between how I felt when I almost dropped my Intro to Copyediting extension class because of life overload, but instead stayed up all night cramming and got an A on the final and in the class, and the gut-kick feeling of being the primary producer on a software product that shipped with a significant error despite my and my assistants' whipping the software testers until foam dripped from their mouths.

Of course, at the time I did not have children who kept me and Seymour up until 5 AM with their feverish coughing. Poor Mali.

Glad I am not in this alone. Thank you, Seymour, Jennyalice, Lea H., Minnie, Jabberwocky, and you wonderful, fabulous proofreaders.

Bow Wow Wow

Bow Wow Wow

Mali has been a dog for about a week. She will only answer to the name "Charles" (her grandmother's dog's name), insists on shaking paws and eating dog biscuits (granola bars), and barks a lot. "I'm not a girl, I'm a Dog!"

Seymour and I are amazed. We'd heard about kids doing this sort of pretend play, but have never experienced it firsthand. It's pretty cool.