OMFG For Real

Badger and Jo, apologies for relaying information this way. I can't talk any more tonight.

Our Thursday night babysitter, Celia, just called to say that she couldn't come this week. As I am a small person who spent the day whining about both Therapist L and Therapist Y having to cancel their sessions, my reaction was stunned silence, followed by, "Oh, okay." Then she said,

"I can't come because Kat (the lady she nannies for) died this weekend."

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Once I was able to talk again, I asked her what had happened. She said that there was an accident, that Kat had become depressed and had taken her own life. This is the same super-chipper Kat who came to Bad Moms coffee regularly a year ago, right before and after her baby girl was born. That baby who just turned one, that baby Celia and I always chat about and compare to 10-weeks-younger Mali.

Kat hadn't come to coffee in months but I didn't think anything of it because she worked full time. Celia said Kat had become quiet and withdrawn during the past couple of months, but that she didn't want to talk about what was bothering her because she was ashamed of her feelings. I so very much wished she had talked to us.

I told Celia to let Kat's husband know that we and the local mothers club can help out with meals and babysitting indefinitely, that they only need to let us know. If they want to.

Celia said that this has been one of the worst weeks of her life. I did not press her for details, I do not know if Celia was in the house at the same time, or what actions Kat took.

All I can think of is how irrepressibly bouncy Kat always seemed, how she was drawn to our group after Jo identified herself as a pinko commie feminist mom on the local moms club email board.

If you are feeling depressed, for fuck's sake please do not feel ashamed to talk to anyone. Talk to me, even. Please.