Head Sinking Onto the Keyboard As I Wait for the Vet to Call

The vet is supposed to call any minute now. To some it might sound harsh, but if they do not think Scabby will be capable of self-care for the rest of her life then I think we should deliver her from her misery. But I prefer not to think about it at all.

How do people function in medical school? Grinding continuously, not sleeping, yet expected to function not only normally, but at peak? How How How? This is the question I keep asking myself. Not that I would be capable of that type of performance, but it still sizzles my wizzles that I work so fucking hard all day, every day, but very little gets done, judging by the sizes of the piles of laundry, housework, and bills/correspondence I've yet to attend to. Plus there is filling out the paperwork for Leelo's admission to the Deadwood School District: Special Needs Edition, comments requested by tomorrow on the latest design for the new house (we staked out its footprint in the yard last Friday). A few holiday decorations are up but practically nothing, and every time I get something organized and put away Miss Mali comes around and undoes it:

Bonus points if you can guess which author she's about to desecrate.

That baby is fortunate to have such a winning disposition. It keeps me from leaving her on peoples' doorsteps after yet another night in which I am up working until 1 A.M., crawl into bed and read for 15 minutes, turn off the light and roll over with a luxurious sigh, only to hear "Ba ba ba? Itch gwAIII doh ma ma ma!"

The nursing will somehow knock my awake switch back to on, and I will stay up fretting about whether or not we can actually afford to build a new house, whether it is morally questionable to do so when that money would be best put towards Leelo's program so Seymour's parents don't have to foot 90% of the bill, whether we could be just as happy in a larger house down the hill, where it's cheaper. Away from this yard that feeds my soul. Sigh.

Basically I have been operating on three to six hours of sleep a night for several weeks now and I am so tired I can no longer smile.

Where the fuck is that vet? She said she'd call 77 minutes ago.

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