Cheapy Cheapskate's Night Out for Under $15

Just yesterday my husband and I got unpleasant news about our quarterly tax payments for 2009. Short version: we need to throw more sticks on the fire under our newly-cost-savings-conscious bottoms.

Seymour pointed out that incidental dining costs are one of our biggest drains: We can still have our date night once per week, but should be wary of dinner plus drinks plus coffee plus dessert plus a movie. That shit gets expensive.

But does it have to? Not necessarily, not for the savvy scrimper.

Drinks
Our city is the county seat. The county jail and adjoining courtroom loom over downtown, amidst a nimbus of bail bonds offices and inexpensive bars. Reasonably strong well drinks at the friendly, clean bar directly across the street from the county jail are $4. I haven't figured out why the drinks aren't quite as strong as they could be: is it because the owners suspect that recent county guests are less likely to make a fuss, or because getting said guests seriously liquored up is a questionable idea?

Dinner
It's only a two block walk from the jail to Pizza My Heart, a chain restaurant that makes a fine, large, slice of pesto pizza with a NY-style crust for only $3.25. They'll even give you a cup of water to counter the effects of that well drink, if you ask.

(Bonus: PMH stocks the large red straws that my son loves to stim on, and leaves them in open, unattended bins by the beverage area. Tonight marked another victory for LUST: The League of Unrepentant Straw Thieves!)

Coffee and Dessert
The pastry and coffee areas of my heart normally belong to Pamplemousse, but they close by 7 PM on weeknights. Downtown's other patisserie, La Tartine, cannot compete with "Plapamouse" (as my youngest calls it) in quality, but it stays open until 10, has free wifi, and is across the street from Pizza My Heart. A generous cup of good black coffee is $2.15; that plus two 50 cent mini-palmiers equals $3.15 for coffee and dessert.

Movie
I am in the habit of recommending my dentist to anyone who might possibly need dental care, because he sends me one movie pass for each person who shows up in his office and mentions my name. So, for me, tonight, the movie was free, and the total for my evening really was under $15. However this is not a reliable method for dealing with a bigscreen habit, so I recommend buying movie passes at Costco, as you'll save almost $4 per ticket.

With my dentist pass, and including a dollar tip at the bar and in the tip jars at the pizza joint and patisserie, the total for a stiff drink, dinner, coffee, dessert, and a movie was $13.40 per person. That really was my total, as I timed my arrival after 7PM, when downtown parking becomes free.

With a Costco movie pass ($7.50), the adjusted total for the evening would still have been only $20.90. Yay, suburban cities with vibrant walkable downtowns!

For those of you who are now laughing because you are my husband or co-editor and are at least eight inches taller than me and would never consider the above a filling meal: Pack a sandwich into the movie theater. Er, if your theater allows such things.