Sad About Leelo, Sometimes

Leelo has more energy than five typical kids put together, but he also has absolutely no idea what to do with himself when not being directed. So he paces and gets himself a a strip of paper or a twig to fiddle with as he walks in circles and hums to himself. I do not believe that this is what he prefers to do, but rather that is is a coping method.

I cannot spend all his non-aided time directing him. I wish I could; it hurts my heart to see him buzzing around with his head down, trying to keep himself busy because his brain won't let itself focus long enough to remember all the things he likes and knows how to do. I can't even do the parallel work/play that typical kids will settle for, with me participating verbally in the hijinks as my hands and eyes hack away at neverending housework.

He wants to be with us, and craves our attention, so badly. Every time an aide arrives, Leelo runs at us and grabs our hands, saying, "Want to go see Mommy? Want to go see Daddy?" When Seymour came home from work today and gave Leelo undivided seesaw time, Leelo was so giddy that his grin almost split his head in two.

When Seymour and I left for our first date night in two months, Leelo protested and tried to get in the car with us. He allowed himself to be led back to the house, but then when bed time came around he burst into tears and sobbed for us. I would have come back home, had I known.

This morning at coffee part of the conversation flow touched on parenting only children. I sometimes wonder how much fairer Leelo's unfair life would have been had he been an only child. But I also think that his sisters will better learn how to draw him out as they get older, and that once Mali is less dependent then Leelo will have a crack in-home support quartet to help keep him busy, all the time.

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