Where Does the Pollen Go?*

Sometimes, when your kid tells you that she understands what you mean when you tell her the topic of reproduction is not necessarily appropriate for preschool, she is lying. Or just so excited that she can't contain herself.

For instance, I arrived at school just in time to hear her tell her music teacher and class that "my mommy only has one fallopian tube because a pregnancy got stuck in the other one and now it's all scarred and closed down, but it's okay because she still had me and my brother."

The teacher was too stunned to say anything, so I told the class that what Iz said was true, and that I'm not embarrassed about it, but that most people consider these matters private. The teacher and students seemed okay with my explanation.

I hope so, because one of the things I am trying to convey to Iz is that it's okay to talk about pregnancy loss. I don't want to turn her into a pregnancy pessimist, but I also don't want her growing up thinking that pregnancy loss is a taboo subject, or that it's something rare that only happens to other people. It's happened to almost everyone I know. The resulting grief can be unbearable. No one should have to put a lid on that kind of sorrow just because it isn't polite conversation.

Anyhow, on the way home, we came up with a method for ascertaining whether or not it is okay to talk about sex, etc. with someone. We practiced it a lot this afternoon. I hope it sticks:

--Iz to potential information overload victim: "Are you comfortable talking about reproduction?"

--If the victim says yes, then tally ho!

--However, if the victim says "No," then Iz is to say "Okay. I'm glad I asked."

Later on as lovely Seymour was bringing plates of pizza to us two lounging couch girls, Iz announced "So, Daddy has a circumcised penis?"

I laughed, and said, "Yes, he does."

But poor Seymour, he turned both red and around, and had to go collect himself in the kitchen for a moment before he could finish delivering our dinner.

Then Iz and I once again practiced how to ask someone if they're comfortable talking about reproduction.

*If you get this quote, then you either must have horrible taste in movie musicals, or were forced to watch the film in question Clockwork Orange-style.