3.17.2007

In Which My Prejudices Against Overused or Badly Spelled Baby Names Emerge

In Which My Prejudices Against Overused or Badly Spelled Baby Names Emerge

A letter to my brother, whose wife is expecting their third child, and who is pondering names:

Dude,

Please use Flickr or YouTube so you can just send out links instead of files. I can handle the files but not everyone can. I am toooo lazy to open up multiple files from multiple emails, but will happily click on multiple links from within a single email. When your third kid gets here you will understand this better.

More overused names, as per our discussion. This doesn't mean that they're not wonderful--often classic--names, but rather that there are herds of these same-named little beasts roaming our great country:

Taylor (girls and boys)
Ryan
Alexander (there are five of them in Mali's school)
Sophia/Sofia (same school has six)
Zachary
Joshua
Olivia
Samatha
Hannah
Mia

And you are not allowed to use any names that are just a K followed by random a's e's, i's, n's, y's r's, or d's. Examples: Kadyn, Keyana, Kaylie, Kayla, Kiley, Kailey, Kira, Kara, Kydie, Kaelyn, etc. The only exceptions are Kylie because Kylie Minogue rocks, and Kianna whom I know personally and who is a really wonderful little girl with very cool parents.

And no funky spellings. Iz is at a party right now for a girl named Andee, a spelling which sets my teeth on edge. If you're going to use geographic names, don't be a dimwit and mess with the spellings as that makes parents look ignorant even if the name is a well-informed choice. It is Brittany, not Britney; Shannon, not Shannen, Shannan, or (shudder) Shannyn; India, not Indya; Savannah, not Syvana; Cheyenne, not Shayanne.

Talk to you later, Arizona boy,

=Your Sister

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