11.10.2003

Garden. Better Leelo. Sienna.

I plan to go on an amaranth planting rampage today if the chance presents itself. According to lore, the deer don't like it all that much (although they're also supposed to avoid Paraguayan Nightshade, Lavatera, and Bougainvillea, yet treat ours like a salad buffet).

Last week Seymour disappeared for a while, and when I finally located him he was behind the garage, gobbling up the newly ripened prickly pears using Wyoming's harvesting technique. Only got one sticker in his hand, which is pretty fair for an amateur.

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Leelo has been with therapist L for half an hour as of this writing. Willingly, happily. Demanded that she sit in the chair and play with his new Mr. Potato Head (which he already knew how to use, owing to school I'm guessing. So much for my anticipated big Teaching Moment).

Here is what happens with just about anything in my life: If I publicly ridicule it, then it's going to come back around and smack me in the ass. As it has with Leelo's supplement regimen. He was freaking out, we didn't know why, what supplement, we introduced a bunch at once, aiiiigh I'm sorry we'll follow directions now.

Last week we scaled back to the basics: Nystatin (anti-yeast), Lactobaccilus (pro-biotic), Vitamin B6, Zinc, Folic Acid, Calcium. We're going to re-introduce one supplement a week. Last night it was K-Mag aspartate (Magnesium) as the DAN protocol (which Seymour's been re-reading) says B vitamins without Magnesium can have adverse behavioral effects. Shit. DAN also warns against taking Zinc with other supplements as it can interfere with absorption. Huh? Dr. Prattle never mentioned this. You're supposed to wait a few hours, as you do with Calcium vs. Fluoride. Seymour has the day off and is using it to do more research and write up questions for Dr. Prattle.

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I called my Great-Auntie Diamond a couple of weeks ago. She's Sienna's grandmother and Sienna mostly lives with her and Lana, Diamond's niece. I was trying to talk to Lana, since she's the one who is monitoring things in Sienna's best interest and also the one who is getting married in July and then bailing on Sienna and Diamond both. Again, it is not my goal to interfere, but rather to get as much information as I can to determine whether or not an intervention needs to take place, whether or not Sienna needs to be pre-emptively removed from her mom's care since that's where she'll be going in July if nothing else happens.

Well, I didn't get to talk to Lana. She was out, so I chatted with Auntie Diamond who, if it's within my power, is not going to know about any of my machinations re: Sienna if it turns out that things are under control. I was also ready to do the phone version of nodding and smiling with a dottering old lady, since my mom and her sister Auntie F had told me that Diamond was losing it big time. Plus Diamond hadn't heard from me for a while. Already feeling guilty, sneaky, and dirty.

And then more so. Diamond may be completely in denial about her loser druggie daughter and what that means for Sienna, but she is otherwise still completely lucid and of this earth. And, turns out I was so absorbed with everything that was going on with Leelo that I never remembered to call or write with our condolences when Diamond's husband of 62 years, Great-Uncle Benz, died this past Spring. Go Squid! Sputtered apologies, promised to come visit soon, asked her to have Lana call me.

Then madly dashed her off a letter of apology and sympathy, including a copy of the Hey People, Leelo's Autistic letter that we emailed to family and friends this past June by way of explanation for my major fuck-up. Put it in the mail.

It's been two weeks. I still feel like a complete ass. Lana hasn't called--I've left messages with her dad, too, but he's the one who gave me the polite Canadian version of Fuck Off in the first place so a reply isn't likely. I can't really call Auntie Diamond back as she'll get suspicious of me wanting to talk to Lana. Auntie F, who is usually the go-between, is in Australia for two months.

I can't even properly write down my worries here, but here are two big ones. Apparently Sienna is spending increasing amounts of time, especially nights, at her Mom's place. With her shady teenage brother and his complete lack of morals--he is an unsocialized wolf boy. Also Auntie Diamond commented that Sienna took Uncle Benz's death in stride--it didn't seem to affect her that much. This man was for all practical purposes her father. How fucked up is her head already? She's only seven.

This sinus infection has made my head all cottony. I can't fire the old synapses properly. Does this rambling about Sienna make sense? I feel like I'm dancing outside the city walls, yelling and screaming and no one inside will acknowledge me, even though they know I'm there. The guards will continue to bar the gate. I'm going to have to figure out how to scale the walls.

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