THIS is What I Do All Day

I am not saying that one needs to rationalize being a stay-at-home mom. If, like me, you're in that extraordinarily fortunate situation, count your blessings while I pat you on the head. I hope you don't go completely batshit.

HowEVER, if one more patronizing person gives me that sugary "Oh, how nice for you" with the simpering smile that never ever reaches their eyes, I will take this chart of Leelo's supplements and shove it up their butt using my umbrella:

I am feeling misanthropic today.

Possibly because I've been mulling about how many truly useless and crappy people live in my neighborhood. There are too many small-scale Larry Ellison types--they've got the big houses and the big cars and the big smug fuck-everyone-who's-not-me attitudes. Fortunately our crappy little cabin-house faces a nature preserve rather than one of their overbuilt monstrosities, so we just pretend that we live in a forest. La la la, it's just us and the deer, deedle deedle doo...

These people are a problem because, like Badger and Jo, I get preoccupied with theoretical post-apocalypse scenarios (mostly because I'm not sure I'd be of much value. I used to cling to my breeding power, but after Leelo it's more likely they'd sterilize me). These are not the people I'd want to be depending on if resources were scarce--they already get bitchily passive-aggressive if you order that last croissant while they're waiting in line. I just know that they're all going to be in league with Badger's nemesis the macho warlord (see her Nov. 8 entry), and will demand we join them or die.

An alternate take has everyone loving and wanting to barter with us, as we will be goatherders. You want milk, meat, fiber for clothes? Talk to us. We will be openly loyal to Badger and her camp, of course, and will recruit the friendly helpful neighbors for their proven skills as teachers, carpenters, farmers, and athletes/laborers. The small petty croissant-craving personalities will be absorbed into the macho warlord's camp, where they will be valued for their orifices only.