Just Don't Come Play Over Here

Click elsewhere if you're not into suburban housewife malaise.

There will be no more Monday playgroups at our house, indefinitely.

*Sigh of relief*

We will continue with Leelo's facilitated playgroups, but I can no longer tolerate the stress of having so many shrieking children in my house. Spending time with my own mom friends is no longer an equitable trade-off. I am cracking. Everyone who depends on me is getting short-sheeted.

I've been hosting these groups for years, and they've always been wacky but dandy. However I did not used to have squads of therapists drifting in and out of my house all day every day. And I did not have a little boy who needed such constant and intense supervision. Nor was my daughter old enough to slyly incite riot-like behavior among her peers, knowing that her mom was too preoccupied to interfere.

Another indicator that it's time to pull the plug: I completely lost it today and shrieked at one of the kids (who, to be fair, had just thrown a plastic spade at a friend), and told him that if he ever threw another toy like that at my house, he would not be invited back. Ever. I then turned to all the wide-eyed, open-mouthed children who'd been struck silent by my ferocity, and told them that the same rule applied to them. Who knows if it registered.

You can think what you like about my cushy SAHM lifestyle. I acknowledge that most people with my kind of good luck aren't so fucking wimpy or whiny. But you should be aware that, had I lived in more intense housewifely times, I would have ended up like Mrs. Clutter of In Cold Blood: a bedridden shadow in her own home. I am trying to prevent that by eliminating the eliminatable stresses on my health and sanity. My family needs me. That's my choice. Sorry, kids.

I'll see you folks at Thursday coffee.

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