I'll Never Need to Buy Wrapping Paper Again!
I hate wrapping paper. While I appreciate the aesthetics of a beautifully wrapped gift, the paper itself is costly, ephemeral, and wasteful. I never buy it. If I do use it, it will be a salvaged piece from gifts past, and will be secured with ribbon rather than tape as taught by my good friend Ep.
I soured many a joyful Christmas present-opening by shrieking at people to please salvage their wrapping paper. This year I finally understood that most people just won't listen to a humorless ecohag at Christmastime. So I thought about the problem, and came up with a plan.
When Christmas morning arrived, I told all the cousins that I'd give them a quarter for every piece of wrapping paper they salvaged--theirs or anyone else's. Participation was totally voluntary. The good little capitalists launched a fierce competition and ended up making about five bucks each! I ended up with a box of wrapping paper worth much more than what I shelled out, and reduced our Xmas waste by 75%. We are keeping much more than we're throwing out. Yeah!
So we have a happy ending. No one hates me, and my green-leaning little heart is now satisfied--though after a week with my family and therefore no breaks for privacy whatsoever (hell for this introvert's batteries), it is still probably three sizes too small.