Too Grumpy for Iron Gate

Too Grumpy for Iron Gate

Tomorrow night is the annual Iron Gate silent auction, the primary fundraiser for Mali's co-op nursery school. All IG families are encouraged to donate something, so I'm offering up two items: a cheese platter with knives and wine delivered to the winner's door, and a custom-made coloring book like the one I made for Leelo's birthday (including 20 copies). Hopefully no one will bid on either of my items. I have priced them stratospherically, just to see if the auction fairies will grant my wish to FLAKE OUT.

I wouldn't mind flaking on tonight's three-hour setup session (mandatory), either. My life of late is exhausting me (grumpy, hitty Leelo who doesn't sleep, no-sleepy-as-well Mali) and I won't really be able to fake the enthusiasm required to decorate shit festively. I am thinking of reaching into the very bottom of my bag of tricks and pretending to be sick while I'm at the set up "party" and then making myself barf in the toilet. Like many a SoCal refugee, I have dabbled in eating disorders--and while I haven't used the vomit ticket in years, I'm sure it's like riding an ipecac-coated bicycle.

As you may be able to tell, I am desperate to get out of tonight and tomorrow nights' gigs. This will most assuredly be our family's last year at Iron Gate. Once I've experienced what one year at a co-op with a typical kid is like, I'll know all I need to know and will give notice. Mali can go to Teacher Anarchy's school next year, and I will redirect all that Iron Gate energy to working with my ass-kicking friends on setting up a local Special Ed PTA to help support our kids as well as other local SpEd families. We've already nominated Sage as president!

Addendum: Please note that I do not actually flake on commitments. What I need to do is sign up for fewer things in the first place. Perhaps I can carry a large hammer in my pack so as to threaten myself with pseudo-trepanation each time I think, "Surely I can squeeze in one more task set..."

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