I've Had It With Liberal Twits Even Though I'm One of Them

There's a whole lot of steam behind this post, so hold on tight.

I've had it with my pansy-assed so-called-liberal acquaintances* who run for the closet whenever their soaring ideals brush up against the roaring monster of reality. Fuck you, you fucking twerps.

Please note that the "pansy-assed" description also applies to me. I am one of those laughable sorts who's all for furthering the rights and circumstances of everyone on the planet, as long as I can contribute by hiding behind my checkbook instead of actually pitching in. I believe in democracy and community, but participate almost exclusively in my own tight-knit and circumscribed group of friends (balls-out lefties of action, most of them--I'm the square peg). I try to find clothing unstained by the sweat of exploited workers, but such togs are often elusive and hideous, so I duck behind my computer and outfit myself via O1dNavy.com instead.

You know my type. The Bay Area is polluted with milquetoast liberals like me. We're useless. And infuriating to talk to, if you try to get us to qualify our starry-eyed visions of a happy planet.

But some of us are more annoying than others. The ones making me hiss, spit, and yowl lately are upper-middle-class and generally Caucasian, and have ideals that fray visibly when they discuss schooling their natural-fiber-clad youngsters. Specifically, I am ready to throttle the next person who tells me that they had been considering Iz's dream school for next year, but balked when they saw what the school is really like.

Yes, my well-meaning but completely fuckwadded asspicking oh-but-I'm-not-racist morons, most of the students at the local public Spanish/English Dual Immersion school are (gasp!) Hispanic. Who the fuck did you expect to see there? And why do you think this school exists in the first place? What state do you think you moved to? Estamos en Alta California, amigos. You are the minority. Wake the fuck up.

"Oh," the pseudo-liberal whispers, shamefaced to mention such a thing, "there seemed to be an awful lot of low- and lower-middle-income families at the school." Really? Here in our beautiful, wonderful city where more than three-quarters of all renting households qualify as low income?

Honey, this ain't Pa1o Alto. If you're willing to sacrifice your children on the altar of public schooling, you're going to discover that they let these unfortunates mingle with your tender lambs at every school in town. They really do. Why do you think you get to live in such an excellent house, a house that would fetch 25 to 100% more in Men1o Park? It's because we've got diversity, baby. You might as well deal with it now, because as long as we have the lowest rents in the area, it's not going anywhere.

The complete fucking ignorance behind these statements really stings when you consider that Esperanza isn't anyone's home school. It's a magnet school--every single student comes from a family that made a conscious choice about their kids' education, and chose this school over their path-of-least-resistance home school. These are families who give a shit about learning.

So, let me see. Do I want my kid in an environment where education is celebrated and cherished? Or do I want my little automatons to learn how to air-kiss the spawn of parents who care solely for demographics and test scores? (The latter being useless in a town with so many English-learners, anyhow.) Hmm, not sure which value set I want my kids to absorb, so I'll have to get back to you on that one.

I just don't understand why these people can't swallow a simple concept: if they want more kids like theirs in the school, then they have to send their kids there, and talk their fellow scaredy cat, pants-peeing, Whole Foods-going, GAIAM-buying parents into doing the same. But I know they won't, and I don't think I want to attend school meetings with them anyhow.

Which is too bad for their kids. It's a fucking amazing school, even though it's not for everyone. There are many kids--Leelo, for instance--who would not thrive there. But the kids of these acquaintances would have blossomed at Esperanza, I'm certain of it. So I will have to be satisfied with watching the parents try to hide their twinges of guilt and regret each time Iz demonstrates her perfect Spanish accent. That will have to be tell-off enough.

*Acquaintance has a different definition than friend. But surely you know that.

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