The BlogHer14 conference is in one week, in fabulous downtown San Jose. I am speaking there. Twice! As you might have guessed by all those banners to the left. Are you coming to the conference? If not, here is the agenda and how to register*. Please come. Because I am freaking out a bit.
Old-timey camaraderie at BlogHer '06:
SJ & Laura & my natural hair color.
I am not freaking about speaking, not so much. I speak all over the place all the time (plus I spoke at BlogHer '08, BlogHer '10, & BlogHer '11). Speaking is monologuing and that is easy; small talk, & conversations with people with whom I am not already on a fart joke basis, is hard. And there are just not that many fart joke friends coming to BlogHer this year. Jen Myers, my long-suffering social crutch, had the nerve to go out and get an office job, damn her. Jenijen will be working her cute little butt off as a BlogHer staffer (as opposed to BlogHer 2006, where she worked her cute little butt off as a conference volunteer). Beloved SJ of I, Asshole? Also not coming. So if you are coming and you know me and you like fart jokes, please say so.
I am excited about next week's conference though. Because, ha ha ha ha, the funny BlogHer people have me and the very impressive Danah Boyd warming up the crowd for The Bloggess's conference opening keynote. (Danah & I are participating in the very cool 10x10 project.) The Bloggess shares extensive tone cues with SJ & I, Asshole, and Danah professionally groks networked teens like my Iz, so even if people throw rotten fruit at me, I will be on stage with cool people. Here is more info on that event:
Best-selling author of Let’s Pretend This Never Happened and
blogger extraordinaire -- aka The Bloggess -- opens our anniversary
conference with her special, and wildly successful, brand of
off-the-wall humor, as she launches her second book, Furiously Happy.
10x10
Project: Danah Boyd and Shannon Des Roches Rosa look back at what the
blogosphere built and look ahead to where we’re going, covering 10 years
in 10 minutes.
Then I'm speaking again the next day, at the Special Needs Caregiving mini-con, along with Kristina Chew and Jen Lee Reeves. This will be three (!) hours of intra- and inter-communities communing, and I hope many different voices will be there so we can all learn a lot from each other. That might seem snarky, especially if you are imagining that sentence read in my typical speaking voice, but I am sincere. Hope to speak at, and awkwardly converse with, many many folks there.
Our hope is to host a conversation where we can be real, we can get
uncomfortable, we can walk a mile in other women's shoes, and—most of
all—we can walk away feeling like we know how to be better and do
better. Understand more and speak up more. Together, we can extinguish
the flame-war-ridden Web and be a part of the powerful and
boundary-breaking Web. Are we all in?
Speakers:
Feminista Jones, BlogHer's own Sex and Relationships editor, who has been at the center of some raging Internet debates.
Grace Hwang Lynch, BlogHer's own News and Politics editor, who also blogs about her mixed-race Asian family at Hapamama.
So, for those who missed yesterday's Al Jazeera English The Stream Autism Spectrum segment: Ari Ne'eman, Steve Silberman, and I were part of a group discussion on autism rights, acceptance, inclusion, and education. Video below:
...and if you want to continue exploring the themes of the Al Jazeera segment -- rights, acceptance, you can watch and listen to my Autism Parenting and Gratitude Webinar for The Reading Clinic. I also talked about finding role models in the
autistic and parent communities, and about parents being kind to
themselves so they can be the parent their kid needs. And, oh, a lot more -- the webinar is just a bit more than an hour long.
You don't want to be on the wrong side of history, do you?
That's a question we're hearing a lot just now. And I think it's a
particularly important question to ask yourself today, during Autism
Acceptance Day, and throughout April, which is Autism Acceptance Month.
It's important for you to accept and then help other people understand
that autistic people like my son are your fellow human beings, with your
same inalienable rights to live happy and pity-free lives. That
whatever their needs and abilities, autistic people are not "less" than
other people.
The Autistic Self-Advocacy Network just launched its e-book And Straight on Till Morning: Essays on Autism Acceptance [Kindle Edition]. It contains the work of many wonderful Autistics and allies, including Kassiane Sibley, Zoe Gross, Shain Neumeier, and Lydia Brown, and was edited by
Julia Bascom. It also includes my essay "All Done Autism Acceptance." From Steve Silberman's review:
"Rethinking social conventions in light of autism is
precisely the goal of another just-published ebook called And Straight On Till Morning: Essays on Autism Acceptance.The third title published by a non-profit group called the Autistic Self-Advocacy Network, it is
an anthology of essays about autism written from the inside. Each of the
contributors to the book is on the spectrum themselves, the parent of an
autistic child, or an ally in the disability rights movement."
I also contributed to autism & apps posts for Parenting.com and Tech in Special Ed, but I talked about those already, on today's previous post.
Since Autism Acceptance Day is just the lead-in to Autism Acceptance Month, here are some AAM projects for you to keep on top of during April 2013.
To quote Victor/Victoria, that is what I have done about it. What are you going to do about it? Let me know, so we can promote your Autism Acceptance Efforts on Thinking Person's Guide to Autism!
Every BlogHer11 day meant packing in months' worth of fun, geekery, learning, and camaraderie. Months' worth. It was like watching the TV show ER with my mom the emergency room nurse (the show's early years, before it sucked), asking if working in the ER was really like that, and having her respond that well, yes, mostly -- but over weeks and months, not in a single hour. My goal is to post my official conference wrap-up in two days, but until then here are some fine BlogHer11 geek pride moments.
Best t-shirt of the entire conference, worn by Chris Page. If you can't read it, it proudly declares, "I was a Mac developer when Apple was doomed."
Liz Henry, highly amused by the elevator signage and its location.
My official Wolverine photo! I was fierce at first, but at this point am about to giggle uncontrollably. Still, being Logan ruled. A conference highlight.
More BlogHer coming! It really was several months' worth of living in 2.5 days. Exhausting. Wonderful. Repeat those two words indefinitely and you'll capsulize my life.
Personally, I'm pretty pissy, just so you know. I'm grumpy. I'm easily irritated but I'm also able to prioritize and I think the community is more valuable than I am [all our editors do]. And as a result we've had amazing learning experiences, because we've made learning and listening more important than defensiveness. Even though it can be really hard, especially if people attack you personally -- it's hard to just say, really? Especially when they're talking about your son or your child or your parent or somebody you care about or something that's a really deep emotional experience, it's hard. It's hard to stay cool. This is something that took me a really long time to learn.
But it's so valuable. These are the communities that deepen into places where people really value their experiences. I can't tell you how amazing it's been at The Thinking Person's Guide to Autism -- it's an experience I never could have anticipated.
More BlogHer coming! Including cooking with three star Michelin chefs!
Two years ago, my family hit a financial rough patch. We weren't alone in being broadsided by the free-falling economy, and we weren't as badly affected as many others, but it wasn't good. I needed to find a job, one to supplement our income, one that could keep the roof that we'd gambled everything on over our heads.
But who would hire me for anything other than short-term writing or editing gigs? What kind of company would take a chance on me, would risk a position on a frantically busy mom-of-three who was already juggling several other projects?
And I'll tell you what: I'm not the only person they've bet on. Every time I go to a BlogHer event, I encounter more BlogHer employees who've been plucked from the Blogosphere. Wonderful people who couldn't deserve it more, who made me even giddier to be a part of such a fast-thinking, community-centric, resource-optimizing organization.
Since I started my BlogHer job eighteen months ago, my husband and I have made a lot of changes. He has made managing and streamlining our family finances his part-time job, and he kicks ass at it (I keep telling him he should consult). We're budgeting better, and our finances have improved in general. I think we're going to be OK.
I've also been getting more speaking, writing, and consulting gigs, which are thrilling. And there's the fantastic Thinking Person's Guide to Autism blog-to-book project which will the set autism community alight once we get the book out -- in May, or June. It really needs my attention.
But getting everything done, and done well, means something has to give. In the past year or so, that something has been sleep. But now that our finances are more stable, that means ... the BlogHer job.
It's time to leave. It's time to pass on to someone else the chance I was given.
So, I'd like to thank BlogHer in general -- and producer Jenifer Monroe specifically -- for being there when I desperately needed support. And if, by chance, you encounter that rare person who doubts the Blogosphere's ability to make a real difference in someone's life, just tell them my BlogHer story.
It's been a holy-hell busy two weeks, ending with yesterday's phenomenal BlogHer | bet business, enterpreneurism, and technology summit (check out the official liveblogs, three contributed by yours truly). Kudos to BlogHer for bringing together so many brilliant women, for making us all feel as though anything is possible -- and then giving us real tools to propel our ideas skyward. Personal thanks to Jen Myers for being our partnership's business-minded anchor, and asking all the right people all the right questions.
Speaking of BlogHer, I have a new post up as Contributing Editor for Kids With Special Needs, about our kids' complicated relationships -- and how sometimes Leo's behavior is because he's a brother, not because he has autism. And how we spend a lot of time teaching Mali to separate Leo's actions from his person: "...while she can be mad about what he does, it is not OK for her to make him feel bad about who he is." Here's an extended quote:
We don't ever leave our youngest daughter Mali alone with Leo, her ten-year-old big brother. It's not safe. Leo's intense autism may complicate his understanding in some ways, but he remembers very clearly that until he was four years old, there was no Mali and he was Mommy's baby. He has no problem showing his antipathy through yelling and pushing. Understandably, Mali is not a Leo fan, though she tends to blame Leo's autism rather than Leo himself. While I know we can keep Mali safe, I worry that these two children I love so fiercely might hate each other. And that breaks my heart.
I'd enjoy hearing about other families' sibling interactions, especially positive ones, and how you shape, mold, encourage, manage, and direct them.
When every day brings five or ten legitimately bloggable incidents, it's challenging to find time for that blogging, not without carving into my already dwindling sleep allotment. Which is the kind of health-averse action I swore, in public, on BlogHer, to start curtailing. So I'll start tomorrow. Right?
Here's what's been going on since the last post on this site:
My essay for The Thinking Person's Guide to Autism on Why My Child With Autism Is Fully Vaccinated elicited some excellent discussions, and was picked up and republished by the Shot of Prevention blog -- where the first commenter has already provided a beautiful example of the "I don't believe your facts, therefore I'm entitled to debate you" mindset. Um, no. Antivaxxers, you need to tighten up your sloppy critical thinking skills if you're going to step into this ring.
As long as I'm writing about The Thinking Person's Guide: our team is still overwhelmed by all the great writing on critical autism topics. And we keep having to delay book publication, because what else is an editorial team to do when its last three submissions are from Susan Etlinger, Holly Robinson Peete, and Kyra Anderson? (Where's your essay, by the way?)
I was on TV last week, on Comcast Home Network's Upside news program, along with a super-knowledgeable SLP from Leo's school; Jen gently suggested that perhaps I could consider taking care of my two-inch roots before going on camera, so I went ahead and dyed my lid myself -- so quickly that my first proper view of the back was on a studio monitor. The video should be up soon, on http://www.facebook.com/UpsideNews.
And since we're chatting TV, Seymour and his crew spent last Friday covering the punch-through of the Devil's Slide bypass tunnel last Friday -- the first new tunnel CalTrans has built in 40 years! Punch through pictures are coming; in the meantime enjoy his team's mini-documentary on the project.
You may get the sense that we have many, many projects going on, and you'd be right. It's all overwhelming my poor partner. So while I was contemplating taking Leo to Disneyland for his 10th birthday like we did for Iz, we will push that off until the Spring, or later. I've heard the Mouse is quite accommodating for kids with autism, and think that Leo would have a great time if we plan carefully and go during a less-attended day. Can you even imagine? A happy Leo Disney day? He hasn't been since before Mali was born.
Two last-week Leo milestones that distracted me from All Done Disneyland:
Leo received his first-ever invitation from a kid I didn't recognize -- a classmate! This happens all the time when sisters start a new school years start, but never ever with Leo. Not before. One more reason to love this wonderful new school of his.
He started soccer! He loves it! Real soccer, AYSO soccer, with a uniform and everything. A VIP team. Therapist V will be accompanying him for now, Seymour may take over depending on the girls' schedules. Because three kids with three constantly shifting soccer schedules? OMG. But I can't wait to post a pic of all three of them in their uniforms! Saturday!
Leo also managed to drop his iPod touch (not iPad!) in the toilet, insta-bricking it. Or so we thought -- until after 24 hours of drying out it spontaneously de-bricked! I had to restore it from backup and retransfer all the audio and video, but aside from a slightly listless battery, it has recovered completely. Whew. The iPad is wonderful, but it doesn't fit in my purse.
Iz managed her own aquatic device attack. Our printer is on the fritz, so she borrowed my thumb drive to take assignments to class, then forgot take said drive out of her pocket. Which none of us realized until the drive's components materialized in pieces, in the wash. But Seymour let them sit, dry out, reassembled them and -- boom! Another recovery. Here's proof: I used the reassembled drive to transfer a scan of Mali's latest potion recipe (left).
And since we're talking chemistry -- we love www.PeriodicVideos.com. It's like Mythbusters for the periodic table -- amusing and educational. It is very gratifying to hear the little children whine, "Mommy can we watch the video for Technetium please because it's the lightest naturally occurring radioactive element?" Though you folks are probably more interested in Mercury:
Iz's favorite school subject is life science, where at the moment they're studying cell biology. She keeps asking me to help come up with cell function analogies, but is starting to outpace me -- I don't have an analogy for endoplasmic reticulum, do you? Her teacher is slyly tailoring her material for her pubescent girl students; Iz has come home wide-eyed about the dangers of consuming too few calories, as her mitochondria need fuel to produce ATP. And she has to eat enough fat or her cell walls, which are composed of lipids, will collapse and she'll turn into a big puddle.
Iz has four teachers; Mali has two: One each for Spanish and English. I talk with both of Mali's teachers every single day after school, because our button-pusher is still seeing how far she can go with them, and as long as her defiant behavior persists, the teachers and I need team strategies. Part of Mali's challenge is being a very young first grader with a November birthday. Part of it is increased expectations -- first graders are expected to work harder than kindergartners, and she really liked the creative cruising along of kindergarten. Part of it is not being able to shift her great big personality into compliant classroom mode. But it's still early in the year, plus both teachers are experienced enough to wait her out and let her break herself in. For now.
Mali's an outspoken girl. And we're working on that, in helping her figure out the distinction between assertive and rude. It's a fine line to walk when one is five years old. An example: I took Mali, Iz, and their cousins Danielle & Elise to see one of their heroes, the irrepressible Jenni Holm (Baby Mouse) at a local book store. Jenni did a series of drawings for some of the kids in the audience. Mali of course answered every single question Jenni asked each kid whether directed at the audience or not. Bu when it was Mali's turn to step up to the easel, and another girl answered for her, Mali turned around, assumed the regal, snappy pose of a drag queen, and declared, "Excuse me, it's MY turn right now."
Which was not terribly polite! But she neither insulted the girl, nor did she tackle her or in any other way cause her physical harm -- actions which would have justified the reactions of all the perfect little parents of the perfect little children -- as a group, they gasped so loudly that I was surprised any oxygen was left in the room. Different universe; I guess my context for bad behavior is a bit different than theirs must be.
I had Mali quietly apologize to the girl for being cross, but those parents? I met every single one of their eyes with a calm, firm detemined half-smile. And if I had deigned to talk with them, I would have told them that the best way to deal with kids like Mali is to ignore the behavior you don't like, and reinforce the behavior you do, and that their group gasp of horror was near-narcotic for our little attention seeker -- not helpful, uptight people.
But she got to meet Jenni, as did we, which was worth the public stink eye. Jenni rocks.
What else? Mali wants more friends with geography names. Pregnant ladies, do you hear me? She wants you to name your babies Australia, New Zealand, or Pakistan.
Winding down ... um, I wrote another essay for BlogHer today, about how Iz likes crappy pop music and it pains me, and I'm not sure what to do but perhaps you could recommend a band or two?
I said that there would be a BlogHer post. But that was before today turned into Today (multiple unbloggable zeniths, not a day I'll ever forget, watch me compartmentalize like crazy). So here's a pic of us four My Baby Rides the Short Bus ass-kickers from last Saturday's reading at Bluestockings bookstore and activist center in Manhattan. We rocked. Check out the world's greatest little black dress -- now with pockets for chronic fidgeters!
Someone else -- I think A Girl and a Boy -- tweeted their fantasy about having someone else organize their BlogHer10 pix on Flickr. Honey, I hear you.
It took one canceled flight plus a delayed + mid-flight landing + refueling-in-Allentown flight to get here 14 hours later than intented and missing my Ghanaian food/dear friend Luis fix plus the BlogHer speaker training PLUS the BlogHer CE dinner - but I'm here in New York City! And it is awesome. What amazingness. I've yet to talk with a person who doesn't make me fall deeper in love with the electric current-like power of blogging and the smart, strong women who'll be running around in celebration of the medium during this conference weekend.
Finally got to do IRL meetups with the ass-kicking Skye & Grace of Heroine Content.net, and then Niksmom, IamPixieMama, Stimey, & Varda (SquashedMom), which was lovely lovely lovely. If I left tonight the trip would be worth it! But then I'd miss TODAY's (AM) BlogHer10 autism panel and Saturday's My Baby Rides the Short Bus story at Bluestockings in Manhattan, and that would just be AN ENTIRELY DIFFERENT UNIVERSE THAT I COULDN'T BEAR TO LIVE IN.
People are doing awesome thing with their personal swag. You should see Stimey's adorable mice! I am not that together -- in fact I was quite smug about remembering to make business cards -- but I did put together about a few mix CDs with personalized squiddy stickers on 'em. Catch me, remind me, I'll hand you one. Here's the melange:
Jardin of Luxembourg * The Ghost of a Saber Tooth Tiger
L'Ascenseur * Olive Et Moi
You're My Lover Now * Pieta Brown
Alouette * Tallest Trees
Directo * Alex Cuba
Anonymous * Yoav
Never So Big * David Byrne & Fatboy Slim
Kelele * Angelique Kidjo
Good Morning * Rogue Wave
As Long As We're Together * Andrew Morgan
Não Tente Compreender * Dadi
Little House * Annie Stela
Winter Vacation * The Subjects
I Know * Meaghan Smith
The Medicine Show * The Mostar Diving Club
Silence Is Golden * Forro in the Dark
Dilruba * Kailash Kher and Kailasa
Two Doves * Dirty Projectors
Don't Go to Klaksvik * Leif Vollebekk
The Kirwan Song * The Amazing
Light of Love * Music Go Music
Take Me With U * Sharon Jones & The Dap Kings
P.S. Leo dealt very well with dropping me off at SFO for a red-eye flight, then waking up and finding me back in the house, and taking me to SFO once again in the early AM.
P.P.S. Happy 15th anniversary to the man I love more than anything else in this entire world.
Update: I'm especially excited because the panel is partially based on my submission ... and also because BlogHer accepted my proposal to be the moderator! Which I already knew when I took a potshot at the panel's theoretical moderator below...
Update #3: The third speaker is ... and OMG this is huge as I have been a big fan of hers for years ... Pamela Merritt (aka SharkFu) of Angry Black Bitch!
An autism panel is tremendously excellent news for lucky conferencegoers. Many of our most beloved and respected bloggers will corporealize, and we'll get to spend precious time with far-flung friends from the farthest recesses of our computers. I'm especially looking forward to hanging out with my roommate, Jennyalice -- our new work-from-home lives have overwhelmed us to the point where our friendship is largely conducted through email and texts, even though we live five minutes from each other.
Friendship is what draws me to August's BlogHer conference. Two years ago, I had lost my blogging oomph. Leo was having a hard time tolerating being Leo, and we weren't having much luck making his life easier, plus my father had recently passed away. The result was a dwindling interest in things I'd previously enjoyed, including blogging.
So the BlogHer fairies intervened. Somehow, I was invited to speak at BlogHer08, on parenting our children with special needs. Which was great fun, and could have gone on for another hour, easily. I then had the privilege of getting to know the panel's social sorceress, moderator, and organizer, Susan Etlinger. Through her Jennyalice and I became IRL friends with a whole new group of women, including Christa, Kristen, Kristina, Lori, Jennifer, Vicki, and Jordan. Women who get the whys and the hows, and even the whats too painful to mention. And, even better, our kids seem to like each other, too!
Those friendships are the most precious gifts BlogHer has given me, and I am beyond grateful.
So, yes, I'm excited about the conference. I'm thrilled about the panel, I hope the audience respects BlogHer's philosophy of civil disagreement (though I suppose that will be the moderator's problem; I hope she or he has crowdthinkherding skillz.) But really, I'm just so excited to see my friends!
(Excited even though I just got to see some of them -- and their wonderful partners and/or kids -- during winter "break"):
What do you think? Should we protect our children from the world's harsher realities? Or does it do them good to know how fortunate they are by comparison? Go on over to BlogHer and join the discussion.
The busyness of the past two weeks has been a big wow. Lots of work hiccups keeping me & the rest of the team on our toes, a cool business trip for Seymour, a birthday party for Mali, lots of visits from relatives and friends, BlogHer parties, soccer tournaments for Iz, excellent behavior & new developments from Leo, and very little sleep for me. The result: I declared this past Sunday's tired "unprecedented." I didn't win anything, though, except the satisfaction of getting some decent writing out on other internet spaces besides this one:
I hope our book helps its readers to stretch their definitions of inclusion and helps complicate mainstream ideas around individualism that silence or obscure the ways children are connected to their families and societies. Inclusion is a process and the work is never ending.
I do my best to teach my two daughters to celebrate their beautiful and very different bodies just as they are. I talk about any problems of my own in terms of health, not moral failure. I do not hide my body, nor make excuses for it. And I stock my girls’ everyday lives with strong, confident women who talk about their bodies with practicality and humor, because I believe a positive body image is learned, like table manners or martial arts.
My kids call this scrumptious all-in-one meal "Vietnamese pork bowl." It's a crowd pleaser: gluten and dairy free, vegetable gateway for picky eaters, straightforward preparation, and its three-hour process is done in spurts with lots of interstitial free time to pull apart brawling children—and oh my goodness is it delicious. Even my picky son with autism can be coaxed into nibbling on one of the carrot sticks.
And on Can I Sit With You?, I got to enjoy the fruits of a solid month of badgering Michael Procopio for another story, as he sent us The Horror of Chitty Chitty Bang Bang (So I didn't write this one. But I did solicit, copyedit, and post it!)
As the two cute-as-can-be children of Dick Van Dyke’s character, Caractacus Potts, Jeremy and Jemima were the manifestation of my two greatest childhood fears — abandonment and replacement. Where did these children come from? I squirmed in discomfort every time they screeched, “Daddy! Daddy!” I simply could not accept that these were Mr. Van Dyke’s children, because as far as I was concerned, Dick Van Dyke was named Bert [from Mary Poppins] and already had two children.
Time for some sleep, though I once again failed to get to bed before midnight. I'll try to get up some details from the past two weeks, perhaps tomorrow.
BlogHer had me plaster up two posts this week, rather than the usual just one.
The first is about the Anita Teldadi adopted-child surrendering scenario. As I wrote last week, the story punches some of my most sensitive buttons. I tried to sort out my tangled emotions in the post, about what relinquishing a child means to someone who has done it as a birth mother, and also to a someone who claps her hands over her ears and starts yodeling whenever anyone brings up the term "residential care" with regards to Leo. When does being the best parent for a child mean putting them into another's care? I'd be interested to know what you think.
The second post is an interview with Autism Science Foundation president and founder Alison Singer. She is a role model for parents like me whose attitudes and outlook and education about our children with autism and indeed on autism in general have evolved over many years. I particularly admire her positivity; she shows that it is possible to highlight approaches harmful to our children or autistic adults, that drain the wallets of the autism-affiliated and credulous -- without using a verbal baseball bat. She calls for us all to move on, be smart, be mindful of the role of love, and to save our energies and resources to support our kids and families, now. She also talks about her relationship with the Neurodiversity community, and clarifies what exactly the Autism Science Foundation does and plans to do (hint: support research research research!).
I'd be grateful if you'd leave any comments on the BlogHer posts themselves. Thanks.
DonorsChoose is an online charity that makes it easy for everyone to help fund educational projects around the country. During the Social Media Challenge bloggers, Tweeters, Facebookers, (and BlogHers) will come together to raise money that goes straight to the place it's needed the most - the classroom. Last year, bloggers raised more than $275,000 and helped fund projects in 65,000 public schools.
I am a particular fan of the Classroom Rug project, which describes the many ways in which a Word Map rug would enrich a local kindergarten classroom's learning experience. I am a geographer, I have a kindergartener, and I happen to know that the school in question has an established program for including a special ed child in every single classroom.
All the DonorChoose projects are worthy of your attention. Please help us fund as many programs as we can, by the end of October, even if it's just by spreading the word.
So, I have a new job. Unlike the parenting and the volunteering, it results in dollars in my pocket, and in contrast with my BlogHer Contributing Editor gig, I'll be compensated per hour, rather than per deliverable. It's slightly more than half-time, it's from home, and it's flexible -- really, what else can an already-busy parent ask for?
I envision a new era of time management and conscripted child labor in Casa Rosenberg. Leo is getting really good at helping me with the laundry and folding his clothes, and even Mali can set the table. Long-indulged Iz needs a bit more prodding, but is generally amenable to pitching in as long as she's not experimenting with whiny, resentful tweener mode.
By the by, my last BlogHer article was about special needs and hygiene. Really frank talk about how topics like circumcision (or un-), dental care, and toileting skills can be affected (or not) by special needs, and how we parents have to be extra-cautious about underestimating or smothering our kids' self-care skills. I'd love to have more voices join the discussion.
Maudlin But True Week continues here at Squidalicious.com, with an open letter to Leo's teacher that I wrote on request for the buttkickerinistas at BlogHer as part of their Back to School campaign:
It is all about naked swooping emotions and dreams and hopes, so bring your hanky or feel free to roll your eyes (I vascillate, personally). Leave a damn comment -- there or here but there preferred. And there's a nifty tool at the end called Mr. Linky that lets you link to your own letter as well, should you (and yes you should) choose to write one and make it part of the post.
I will write that, after one week in his new third grade class, everything I've written about the teacher and Leo's potential in her class seems to be marching along. He had a lovely first week, with "0 transition issues" on the second day. I am wishing for similar success stories for all of your children as this 2009-10 school year ramps up.
We have become a bit more about the proclamations and features and a bit less about the journaling in this space, so it seems. But I don't want to forget:
Leo's triennial IEP was a big success. All of his services were retained for the summer and the upcoming school year: speech, occupational therapy, 1:1 aide, behavioral program supervision at home and at school (and for two weeks during the month between summer and regular school), bus. Every one of the ten educators and therapists around that table was on my son's side. It was a delightful feeling.
Mali stopped wearing pullups at night. She probably could have stopped months ago, but I just could not bear the thought of washing more than one set of sheets each day. Still not used to the feeling of a soft little bottom instead of a tough diaper under her jammies, when I pick her up in the morning.
Seymour's work got nominated for a (Northern California) Emmy. We went to the awards ceremony this past weekend. He didn't win because the judges were high but the event itself was sure a lot of fun! Who wouldn't want to party all night long with a bunch of news and weather anchors? And Jennyalice came over to relieve the babysitter at 9:30 so she could drink all of our absinthe and we didn't have to pay for five thousand hours of babysitting.
Mali didn't get in to our local Spanish Immersion school for kindergarten. And I'm okay with that. It's halfway across town, in a totally different direction than Iz's or Leo's schools, and our local school is good plus I already pass it six times a day. Also I am not-so-secretly hankering after a stereotypical first day of kindergarten -- one where we get to meet some neighbors. My kids have never gone to a neighborhood school, Leo's kinder class was a disappointment from the day one, and Iz finished kindergarten a year early.
Leo had a decent blood draw last week. I used a visual schedule with a "snack" icon following the "doctor" one, which helped him be upset only during the procedure rather than before and after as well. (It still took three of us to help him comply.) Also the ever-patient Jenijen walked down from her office on the floor above the medical office, and sat on my girls during the procedure -- otherwise Mali might have spent Leo's blood draw time trying to convince every patient in the lobby that they needed to wear disposable water cups as hats.
The weekend before that, Leo had a fantastic two days at camp. He almost jumped out of his pants with excitement when he realized where he was going! His aide said that our boy was *definitely* ready for week-long summer camp! It's so great to see that kid be so damn happy in that safe, dedicated, but non-therapeutic and purely recreational setting.
Seymour's parents arrived just in time to join us in taking Leo to camp, then stayed through Mothers Day. This was the first time they'd been able to visit us in over a year. They both looked great, and Seymour's mom looked extra-healthy and gorgeous with her new super-short haircut. She wasn't convinced the look was right for her until Iz declared that she looked like Jamie Lee Curtis. Now my MIL thinks she's going to keep her hair as is (as she should).
I realized that logistics and the BlogHer conference were not compatible this year. Serious sadness. But I sold my ticket to a woman who was quite pleased at the reprieve (for those of you who don't know, the conference sold out in about five minutes). There's always next year.
...and I took all three kids back to Costco yesterday. There's no way in HELL I was going to let one bad experience keep us down, plus I had so much good advice under my belt! We made it through just fine.
That's the title of today's BlogHer post, in which I also come out about watching Law & Order: SVU.
If you've read this blog for the last six years, then you'll be familiar with how my attitude towards vaccinations has changed from anti- to pro-, and the very good reasons why.
And if you do feel moved to comment (and I hope you do), please remember that respectful disagreement is the preferred M.O.
