Wanted: Glow of Pregnancy

I sail through my pregnancies fairly easily, symptoms-wise. No swollen ankles, varicose veins, or hospitalizing morning sickness.

However, I look like shit. Not at all like the backlit woman on the Massengil box, which is how we active breeders are supposed to appear.

You think I jest? Not so. My very own partner burst into giggles when he saw the scribble below--not because it was wrong, but because it was so very right. He even named the points that were spot-on. Bastard. Someone needs to tell him that this is the point where he gets to say "no, honey, you don't really look like that." He is also not allowed to laugh when I do a lumbering elephant walk in a bathing suit.

The rest of you get to play I Spy. See if you can find all the following items in the picture:

-Glistening forehead from hormonally-induced sebaceous overdrive
-Spotty chin from same
-Blob-of-putty nose
-"I haven't dyed my hair since I got knocked up" roots
-Wee piggy eyes due to facial bloating
-"It's almost time to get to work" Knockers of Doom
-Scowl of denial

Good luck!

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