My Principles vs. My Ass

My Principles vs. My Ass

The incomparable photographer (and Bad-Ass Dad) Barak Yedidia came by yesterday to take our family's annual holiday photo. Being nimble and deft, he managed to capture many excellent shots including the flighty and unpredictable youngest members of the Rosenberg quintet. My husband looks gorgeous, Iz and Leelo look typically button-cute, Mali looks as funny yet darling as she always does, and I look like a dumpling.

No fault of Barak's. Several years of inattention have left me rounder than I'd imagined. I don't consider this to be a moral failing, nor do I have a complex about being skinny, or being able to fit into my pre-Iz wardrobe. When I look at the models on magazine covers, I often think that it would be nice to look like them, in the same way that I think it would be nice if my children were put in statis to avoid puberty, or if I could ride a wooly mammoth. But I do like the profile of my neck and chin to resemble the legs of a right triangle more than its hypotenuse.

The solution is straight-forward: eat less and exercise more. Eating less is generally a matter of paying attention when food is around, and specifically of keeping the cocaine-laced brand of kettle corn out of the house. Simple, if not necessarily easy.

The exercise one is a doozy. I despise exercise for its own sake. I enjoy hiking and cycling, but the opportunities are limited for the former as I've still not yet found a toddler-carrying backpack that fits my torso, and the latter involves too much gear and too much training before I can even think about riding the hills around my house without walking half the time and exposing myself to the jeers of my neighbors (not that they would--I just don't want my friends to see me walking my bike).

But guess what is right around the corner, next to our brand new fancy local grocery store? A Curves. It is on my way to everywhere. And it is supposed to take only 30 minutes. It seems lame, but is also seems like a convenient opportunity to get healthier. I could always wear a mask so my friends don't see me geeking out on the equipment.

Workout anonymity is not my real concern with Curves, though. The real issue is that the company's founder is an ardent pro-lifer, and funder of such efforts. However the franchise owner is not. I see many of the most fiery local liberals I know exercising there. I will ask them how they came to decide to join, but in the mean time I am interested in hearing opinions from anyone else on this matter, or indeed from anyone who has any experience with Curves at all. Thanks.

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