9.04.2007

Some Funny, Some Not

Some Funny, Some Not

Funny:
  • Iz agreeing to eat asparagus just so she could see if she has the gene to make and smell stinky asparagus pee.
  • Mali hopping all the way down the stairs on one leg with her other leg fully extended in front of her.
  • Leelo singing "I've been working on the railroad" with the entire Dinah section clapped in double time.
Not Funny:
  • Leelo helping himself to a bottle of Claritin. Childproof caps? RIGHT. He wrenched that fucker right off. Turns out that, according to our friends at Poison Control, Claritin is so well tolerated by most people that a two-year-old could drink three bottles before risking adverse side effects. This knowledge did not prevent me from having to remind myself to breathe for the remainder of the evening, nor did it help Leelo while went off on a drug-induced tantrum until 11 PM. Note to self: Leelo knows where we put EVERYTHING that has anything to do with his routine.
  • Leelo skirting us and disappearing, and us finding him on top of the pool cover. This was yesterday evening. Probably this, and Signora Blog's recent experience with her son Bro, resulted in:
  • Me getting shocked awake and then hyperventilating from a vivid dream in which Leelo bolted, got hit by a car and died. I was too slow, I didn't catch him in time, and it seemed so real that even as I was telling myself it wasn't possible I could see it was Leelo by the way his underwear always bunches out of the top of his pants.
  • The gong-like noise of an antique glass tabletop shattering in the living room while I was down the hall talking Leelo through a successful BM. My first thought was that Mali had finally wiggled through the second floor railing and taken a dive. Turns out she had dropped one of Leelo's weighted OT balls from the second story. Turns out the acoustics in our house make "kid squealing in the living room" and "kid squealing in the hallway above the living room" sound identical. Turns out that Seymour's grandmother's table from back in the day was not made with safety glass. Turns out Mali had the living shit scared out of her and likely won't be doing that again.

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