5.25.2004

Bad Dream

If it didn't involve effort, I would be very much interesting in working towards lucid dreaming. Then I wouldn't have spent hours of dream time sobbing after my OB showed me an ultrasound of my dead baby. I wouldn't have been left spread eagled on a hospital bed, surrounded by technicians who thought they were cheering me up by looping anime fetal extractions on the overhead monitors. I wouldn't have been observed by a group of doctors who muttered about how my situation was commonplace, and that I needed to stop being such a big suck.

But, oh hurrah for waking up at 3 A.M. and realizing that things are fine, and that I am in my own cozy bed with a gently snoring partner and a cuddly warm midnight interloper boy. Lucky, lucky me.

I guess I am still fretting about viability.

Also bad: stupid fucking HypePad has banned me from leaving comments because I have a dynamic IP address. So, Badger and Jo, I guess it'll be email from now on unless HypePad allows you to unblock me. My IP stays static for months on end, so it wouldn't involve much updating on your part.

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