Shut Up!

Iz was home today, due to a lovely non-specific ailment characterized by massive boogerage from both her eyes and nose. No way any teacher was going to deal with that kind of ooze.

So, I had me a sidekick. A sidekick who, for the life of her, has lost all sense of the appropriate way in which to enter a conversation. She simply cannot stem the tide of thoughts that surge from within her brain all day--she has to tell you what she's thinking right now right now right now! Regardless of what you are doing or who you are already talking to! Even if you just asked her a completely non-related direct question--she has to tell you what's on her mind now now now!

I think it was Manny who pointed out that our girl most likely lacks an internal monologue. And usually, I don't mind--she goes to school for a good chunk of every weekday, and her fellow extrovert Seymour is here to siphon off some of her verbal energy on the weekends. Since she's my kid, I find her chatter charming--as long as she's not being rude to or interrupting anyone. "Ha ha, if most adverbs end in -ly then my name is an adverb!" (Thank you, Schooolhouse Rock.)

However, as you may guess, my current state of constant nausea and exhaustion means I have little patience for "Mommy I've been looking through your Sunset Garden Book and finding all the warning diamonds that tell us about dangerous plants and look this is lobelia and it contains poisonous alkaloids what are alkaloids but you have lobelia in the front planter with the nasturtium and we eat the nasturtium flowers and Leelo might eat the lobelia accidentally and and and..."

Since I've lost my already-thin patience reserves, I had to work extra-hard not to be a bitch with her today. I did not always succeed. Especially when she let loose with the nagging.

Seymour and I are on a hardcore campaign of "No means no; no does not mean keep asking me or please rephrase the question fifteen times." I tell her that, when she nags me, I feel like she is Sam I Am, and I am his nameless victim--except that I have a spine and will never, ever change my mind. As of today, this has sunk in only partially.

Her rude behavior is not limited to our home. Apparently she's been booted from circle time at school a few times recently, because she just can't shut the fuck up when asked to do so. We've been instructed to crack down on her, but I don't see how we can do more than we already are, punitively, without getting truly harsh.

Instead, I am trying to think up creative ways to encourage her to respect others' conversational space. It may be time to write her another book. Other suggestions are welcome.

I am also shipping her off to fucking Seattle for the weekend (with Seymour as chaperone). I am looking forward to a quiet, mellow three days with her much less chatty brother.

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