12.15.2004

The Hallucinatory Phase

Seymour's off to work as of Monday, and probably elated beyond measure although far too courteous to let us glimpse his glee.

For some reason, as much as Mali sleeps I have not really had a second to take a break--until right now when I announced that I was going downstairs on the computer goddammit.

One of the downsides of co-sleeping/nursing in bed is that you can't always crash when you hit the pillow. In Mali's case, at least, transferring her from whatever position/situation she was in before getting deposited in bed with me means she wakes up instantly and needs to be nursed back to sleep. And, since she likes to do a power-nursing before doing her blessedly lengthy night sleep (1 to 5:30 last night), this means up to two hours, several times per side, of feeding. She's got quite the powerful suction action, which means I can't fully (ow!) relax just yet. And while I'm not as sleep deprived as most parents of newborns, I'm still a card-carrying member of the walking dead.

Which means that, after 2.5 weeks, we've entered the hallucinatory/grouchyfuck phase. If you try to talk to me, I'll either tell you to go away, or will make absolutely no sense.

What else do I do all day? Dunno. Run errands with my mom, who insists on cooking all the time even though we're still getting meals every other day and my fridge is groaning with the effort of containing all those containers of leftovers. Grumble like the ingrate I am at the UPS guy every time he delivers a package to our increasingly crowded and cluttered home. Nurse, nurse, nurse. Think about all the thank-you notes I'm not writing, and hope that I'm not forgetting about any of them.

Spending a lot of time in the car, where Iz keeps asking me to loop Yelllow Submarine and Sweeetheart From Venezuela, and Mali will almost always fall asleep to "Good Night" by Laurie Berkkkkner since I sang Leelo to sleep with that song almost every night for the last several months, and Leelo is always asking for "Palloween" (The Nightmare Before Xmas soundtrack). When I'm not subject to their whims, though, I have been listening to this excellent CD that my friend Skip sent for Mali.

Skip digs harder and deeper for the musical goods than anyone I know, so his CDs are always a treat. This one is called "Pink Mali," and even though it doesn't have a track listing (aiiiieee!) it is still one of the best CDs he's ever sent. It is full of mashes, which are ever so appropriate since, like Mali, they weren't meant to be but once they arrive they're just so right.

Missy Elliott/Joy Division is my favorite track so far, but listening to it makes me think of Chris Tucker (she does sound a lot like him) and wonder where the hell he is. What the hell? Friday and Fifth Element and the Rush Hour twins, and now what? Fifth Element was a recent TeeVo offering, and made me wonder about his whereabouts even more.

Other TeeVo items: Far too much DS9. I am realizing that any episodes with Leeta, Nog, or (to a lesser extent) Rom make me want to throw heavy objects at the TV screen. Plus lots of HBO heavy rotation movies, like House of Sannnnd and Fog (God I love Ben Kingsley), and, since I already wanted to cut out my own heart and eat it after that gorgeous depression-fest, Myssstic River. My mom has been spending too much time watching what the kids watch, so her reaction to the latter movie was "Is that Cowboy Curtis?" Can't wait until the kids see Matttrix for the first time and realize that that's who Morpheus is. Heh.

We've decided that, as of three days ago, Mali looks like a real baby now, not just a squishy wrinkled newborn. Although still a very yellow one. There hasn't been enough sun around to help with the jaundice much. I am starting to get worried; we've got another bilirubin check on Friday. I know I shouldn't really worry.

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