Things you don't really need to hear from your Gyn/OB:

"You know, your breasts are really large!"

This from a woman whose job is to fondle naked boobies all day long. I guess my knockers are bazooka-like indeed.

I told her that I'd most likely be getting them resized after Mali stops nursing. She said that, among her patients who've had reductions, not one has regretted it. Not so the enlargements. "And you think it'd be the opposite!" said my extra-frank doctor, "I mean, there's so much scarring with the reductions!"

I sure know I'd be happy about the elimination of shoulder and back pain, and the ability to buy shirts other than those patterned on potato sacks. Though I do go down by three cup sizes when I stop nursing.

She also said that doing cholesterol testing while I'm still nursing won't give conclusive results, and that once Mali's weaned we can do a full cardio workup to see if I'm on the same quintuple bypass route as so many of my forebears.

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