Ready, Set, Deconstruct: When Well Meaning Morons Make Bumper Stickers

I have no problem with incendiary bumper stickers. I would wear them on my own bumpers but they don't stick well to my shirt or pants.

I do have a problem with incendiary yet totally illogical bumper stickers, even if I agree with their agendas. Was wondering if any of you language experts out there wanted to take a crack at listing the various flaws (grammar, composition, logic) of these two jewels:

Guns Don't Kill People, Drivers With Cel Phones Kill People!

and

If Evolution Is Outlawed, Only Outlaws Will Evolve

Have fun. Be merciless. (But not to me--I already know that you editor types get tics when reading my shit. "Oh, fuck--can you believe what she hyphenated today?!")