Mali Milestone: Now Smarter Than a Dog. Almost.

Mali Milestone: Now Smarter Than a Dog. Almost.

Leelo's diet has never been well-rounded, and it has been a long time since we've tried to force the issue with anything other than dietary supplements sprinkled into his morning rice milk. He eats six items; grocery shopping for him is simple. I occasionally mix shredded carrots or dried blueberries into his pancakes, but for the most part trying to modify his diet is not worth the proportional effort.

We try harder for healthy feeding with the girls. Their dinner tonight was a ten-parenting-points combo of buckwheat noodles (complex carbs), seaweed salad (hardcore veggies with trace minerals), and edamame (protein). Those of you who are now fretting about their osteoporotic future will be both pleased and dismayed to know that this healthy feast was prefaced by ice cream (calcium).

Still, there are days in which Iz and Mali eat only toast, bananas, and cheerios, so I try to supplement their diet, too. Vitamins, specifically SuperNatural Bursty Rhino Vita-Gummies, have been a big hit. Apparently the word "Gummies," with all its attendant sugary promises, negates the stigma of its companion "Vita." Iz takes them willingly--she even asks for them.

I've had less luck with strawberry-flavored cod liver oil capsules, to my surprise--I observed how much Jenijen's kids like them, and so thought they might go over well with my girls.

Big mistake. Iz can read--both bottle labels and stories about awful English nannies forcing nasty cod liver oil on sad little English poppets--so she flat-out rejected the capsules.

I thought Mali might be more amenable. After all, she is illiterate, and the capsules look and smell like candy! I even told Mali that candy is what they were. But my lie was for naught--she put one in her mouth, made a face, spat it out, fixed me with one of her "whammy" looks, and hissed, "medicine!"

So, yeah, she's smart, and yeah again, I shouldn't try to deceive my kids. But in case you're thinking that Mali's such a smart damn cookie, I'll have you know that I just found her pilfering kibble from the cat's dish.

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